Rabbit Problems

March 10, 2011 admin Leave a comment

I’m new at gardening, and I’m working hard and learning a lot about it, but the one thing I’m learning for sure is that I have rabbit problems. In this economy, and with the prices of vegetables going up, I decided to invest in my own backyard garden. I spent the winter months carefully planning it out, researching, testing the soil and waiting for winter to end. I got my little seed starters and had tomato and pepper sprouts within a couple of weeks. I was like a little kid with cabin fever, desperately ready to run outside the moment it warmed up, and when it did, I spent all day in the backyard tilling up grass, raking in the mulch and preparing the yard. It cost me more than I thought it would to start a brand new garden, but I’m hoping it pays off within a year or two.

As soon as it looked like there wouldn’t be any more frost, I was outside, excitedly planting my little seedlings in perfect little rows. I dreamt of the day when I could harvest green beans, peas, tomatoes, peppers, cantaloupe, watermelon and spinach. I was sure I’d save money, lose weight with all my gardening and eating vegetables, and I’d be a hit with my neighbors as I shared my crops with them.

As soon as I got home from work each day, I was out in the garden, pulling weeds, checking for plant growth and making sure the bean trellises were set up correctly. When I saw little tomato buds on the plant, I was so excited! The calluses on my hands were hardening, I was getting a great tan. Some of the neighborhood kids even came over to help me, and ask me questions about plants. I even let some of them have their own tiny little plots so they could plant anything they wanted.

And then, one Saturday I walked out into my yard to a horrific scene. I had rabbit problems. My beautiful herb plants were gnawed down to nothing but nubs. There were perfect little clip marks on the tiny little tomato plants. They’d left the squash alone, but devastated the peas. I just stood there in shock, looking over the damage done to my first vegetable garden ever. Finally, I decided it was too much and just went inside, called up a friend and went out for the day, just to get my mind off of it.

Of course, she told me I should have done this and I should have done that. She told me that I should have expected it and planned for the attack, but none of that made me feel any better. I finally decided the best way to take care of my rabbit problem is just to call in a professional. Let someone else fight the rabbits while I protect and tend to my garden. And of course, I have to explain to the kids why their plants won’t grow this year.

Beaver

Get Rid of Beavers – a true “tail”

March 7, 2011 admin Leave a comment

Authorities in Martinez, California were surprised at their community’s reaction to their decision to get rid of the beavers that were destroying the local waterway, a portion of Alhambra Creek that ran through the center of the city.

Two beavers had built a dam large enough to divert the waterway in several places, and had chewed through willows and landscaping the city had planted in previous years to prevent flooding. The flood control landscaping had cost the city $9.7 million, and it would be expensive to repair the damage the beavers had caused. City leaders decided the beavers had become a costly flood danger to their community.

Authorities felt they had to take action quickly to avoid extensive damage and danger, and plans were drawn up to get rid of the beaver population. California Department of Fish and Game (DFG) does not allow for relocation of beavers, so they had decided to trap and kill the beavers and destroy the dam.

Beaver eating a stick — A beaver causing problems and damage in a city.
(Artwork by Sharon Davis. Contact us for her contact info.)

The announcement was made, and city leaders expected their citizens would be grateful and supportive of their plans. If beaver dams cause flooding, it can result in contaminated drinking water and costly property damage. Although they also anticipated a few dissenters, however, reaction was exactly the opposite. While some people supported their efforts, they faced public outcry in favor of the beavers.

Local school teachers contended that the beavers provided a wonderful learning opportunity for the children and the community as a whole. Local business owners felt they would bring more tourists to their city. Environmentalists wanted to let nature take its course.

Due to the general public’s sentiments, DFG issued an exemption for the two living in the creek to enable them to be relocated. Public support was so strong for them, however, the city has decided to let them stay, provided certain criteria were met. Business owners downtown, especially, demanded the city provide adequate flood control measures. A steel cable was placed under the dam attached to anchors on each bank. If the waters rise to dangerously high levels, the cable could be pulled, pulling the dam apart. A flow device was also placed through the dam: a pipe allowing water to flow through the dam in an effort to keep the waters down to normal levels.

Of course, individual property owners may still be concerned about a growing beaver population. As the number of beavers increase, they will destroy trees, alter property lines through erosion caused by diverted waterways, or cause flooding, damaging homes and businesses. Individuals may still want to get rid of the beavers, but they will need to seek special permission from the local and state authorities before proceeding with any measures to do so.

Bees

Get Rid of Bees

March 6, 2011 admin Leave a comment

I absolutely adore sunflowers, so I planted a whole bunch by the side of my house this summer, and get yelled at by my neighbor and the meter reader who wanted me to get rid of the bees.

I’d recently traveled throughout the South of France. Van Gough made the ancient town of Arles famous with his paintings of sunflowers, and my husband and I rented bicycles and rode through the countryside, gazing over entire fields of the gorgeous flowers following the path of the sun. My favorite memory was biking near the old fortress and castle of Carcassonne. I don’t know how many pictures I took, gazing at the castle across fields of sunflowers in full bloom. Gorgeous.

So, when we got home, I planted those memories all around my house. They grew up quickly in the hot sun, and I thought of France every day I went outside. I never even considered they would attract bees, yellow jackets and wasps.

My neighbor has three children and a dog who feel free to play in everyone’s yard, especially mine. She marched over that summer, and informed me that I needed to remove all the sunflowers. “They’re attracting bees, and that’s dangerous for my kids.” I sweetly reminded her that her children didn’t need to play in my yard, after all. The bees weren’t bothering us. She harrumphed and marched back home.

The man who reads our meter was a little harder to ignore. He has been upset, because our utility company hasn’t invested in the new gadgets that allow him to read everyone’s meter from his car as he drives by. He still has to get out and tramp through everyone’s yards, reading their meters by hand. I’ve kept the meter weed-free, as I’m supposed to, and the sunflowers weren’t planted in front of it, but I was outside when he came by. It turns out the poor man is allergic to bees, and he didn’t appreciate the beauty my sunflowers had to offer as much as he feared being stung. He tersely asked me if I could do anything to get rid of bees.

So, my beautiful sunflowers, memories of my trip to France, were becoming a nuisance. Well, not the flowers themselves, of course, but the insects they attracted. I still held out, though, because of what they meant to me. Then, my husband found a couple of holes in our siding, with bees coming in and out of them. Apparently, a hive had been built in our walls, and the only way we could get rid of the bees was to cut a part of the siding away and have them removed professionally.

My yard is now sunflower-free, but my loving husband buys me a few every week to place inside my home. I keep my memories of France, and my neighbor, meter-man, and husband are much happier.

Chipmunks

Get Rid of Chipmunks

March 5, 2011 admin Leave a comment

Gather around, my children, and I will explain to you the mysteries of why so many people fail to get rid of chipmunks. In a nutshell, we’re too cute. Humans seem to love tiny furry animals with little paws. They cannot resist watching us, laughing when we jump and chatter, run and play. They even seem to love watching us go about our normal, everyday business. I am here to teach you how to use your cuteness to your full advantage.

Step One: Go to a home with older women. They are more likely to have birdseed available in their yards. For some reason, they enjoy watching those nasty flying animals eat, I haven’t figured out why. But, it’s great for us, because the birdseed is absolutely delicious and stores extremely well.

Step Two: Only one or two chipmunks should make First Contact with a home. If too many of us appear the first time, people will sense an invasion, and then they will want to get rid of chipmunks. Maximize your cuteness factor by sending in one or two of your youngest, most adorable chipmunks, preferably those who have the tiniest paws and can do backflips.

Step Three: Don’t allow your First Contact chipmunks to stay too long. Leave them wanting more. The humans will actually put out food to try to get us to come back. They’ve even been known to leave huge buckets full of peanuts out on their porch.

Step Four: Now, you can send in up to four chipmunks. Make sure you play and hype up your antics. Every now and then, stand still, cheeks stuffed with their offerings, and the humans will ooh and aaaah over you. They may even bring out more food while you are there.

Step Five: Do NOT, under any circumstances, let the humans become aware of the holes you are making in their gardens or under their homes. For some reason, they do not appreciate water damage to their concrete or dead flowers and vegetables in their gardens. The best way to do this is to assign a few chipmunks to put on a show for the humans, while the rest of you are burrowing.

Step Six: Now that you have moved in and have a ready and constant supply of food and water, provided for you by your human hosts, be vigilant. Our predators will try to follow us, and if they make themselves aware to the humans, not only will the humans go after our predators, but they will also get rid of chipmunks. Try not to attract the attentions of snakes, especially, because those things will use our burrows to actually get into the humans’ homes. Then, it’s bye bye burrow, and you have to start all over again somewhere else.

Feral Cats

Get Rid of Feral Cats

March 4, 2011 admin Leave a comment

Getting rid of a feral cat is not something usually attempted by a homeowner, but one couple was at the end of their rope.

Like many pet owners, they had a doggie door, to allow their dog access in and out of the home to “take care of its business” without waking them up late at night or first thing every morning. It was extremely frustrating, then, when they were awakened in the middle of the night by crashes coming from the kitchen. The husband grabbed up a golf club and the wife followed him as he ran out of their bedroom to see what was going on in their home. Grabbing for the light switch, they saw what had caused the ruckus: a feral cat.

They’d seen this cat roaming around the neighborhood. None of their neighbors claimed it was theirs, and no one seemed to be leaving food out for it. Someone had seen it rooting around in their garbage one night, but it was quickly chased off. Now, though, it had found access to their house, and was stealing the dog’s food and making a horrific mess.

They had successfully chased it out of the house that night and thought it was a one-time adventure. Unfortunately, the cat had other ideas. For three nights in a row, it came in and made a nuisance of itself. It would meow, hiss at the dog, help itself to food, knock over dishes, and spraying the walls. Night after night, they would chase it away. And day after day, they would clean up after it. The wife tried not to think too much about where that cat had been, how filthy it must be, and what kind of parasites it was bringing into the house. Each day, they would come up with another way to scare it off, but nothing worked. They just had to get rid of this feral cat.

On the third night, they trapped it, but it escaped. A new trap was purchased, and the husband devised a makeshift “catcher.” He got a long tube and pushed a loop of extension cord through it. That fourth night, it was fairly quiet, but they were sure the cat was still in the kitchen by the morning. Sure enough, a low growl and a hiss came from behind the refrigerator.

Grabbing up the stiff cardboard tube and extension cord, the husband left a loop of it hanging out of one end and held the other end tight. The extra cord just snaked behind him. First, he had to get the cat to come out from behind the refrigerator, so he banged one side until the cat streaked out the other side, leaping onto the counter. After several careful approaches, cutting off all escape routes, and ignoring the broken dishes, he was finally able to get rid of the feral cat by throwing the looped extension cord around its neck, pulling it just tight enough to keep the cat from escaping, and carrying it across the room to deposit the cat in a trap.

Now, all they had to do was find out what the laws said they could do with this wild creature. Until then, the cat sat there in their kitchen, snug in its wire cage and far away from the dog food or kitchen appliances.

Snakes

Get Rid of Snakes

March 3, 2011 admin Leave a comment

Ahhh, life is good. I’ve got people who get rid of snakes for me. They keep me safe under this beautiful glass house, where no birds can get at me. I have all the food and water I want, and even get plenty of cheese from time to time. When I feel like a good run, I jump in this wheel thing and just go at it with total abandon. Yup, life is pretty . . .

What was that?! A hiss? Coming from where?? No, I couldn’t’ be. My people got rid of the snakes, didn’t they? Unless they didn’t plug up all the holes leading into the house. Ohhhhh, no. It is a snake. I kind of see it now – its ugly little head gliding along the floor, long ugly body following. If I stay real still, it probably won’t see me. Can’t get up here on this high table, anyway, right? Maybe? Perhaps if I run behind my food bowl and wheel it won’t notice me up here.

Move along! Nothing to eat here. Aaaaeeeee, it knows I’m here! And, here it comes. Run! BONK! Stupid glass house. Pant, pant, run! BONK! Aaargh! What to do?? Where to hide?? Jump! Jump! Freeze.

It’s closer, closer. It’s just staring at me. It knows I can’t run. Just . . . can’t . . . stop . . . shaking. I back into the corner and sit back on my hind legs, and go still. If I have to face death, I will look it right in the eyes.

BONK! I shake my head and stare. What just happened? I grin. Well, as much as a mouse can grin. The stupid snake is kind of swaying a little. He hit the glass pretty hard and I was safe inside. Just to test my theory, I bounce a little and wiggle my nose at him. THWAP! That stupid snake hit his head even harder this time. Hilarious!! This day just went from awful to awesome.

I shimmy on up to the glass wall, right up in front of his little beady eyes. “You look so mad, you could just shed your skin right there.” Okay, as taunts go, that was kind of lame, but I’m just warming up. “Aaaah, don’t get your tail in a twist.”

I jumped up into my running place. “Look at me! I’m a meal on a wheel!” I ran even quicker. “Now, I’m fast food!”

“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week – too bad you won’t be. Try the chicken. I mean, really, try the chicken cuz mouse ain’t on the menu.”

Just then, my people come home. I squeak to get their attention, and eventually the big man comes running over. He grabbed that sucker right behind its head and got rid of that snake. I just hope they plug up all the holes this time so he can’t get back in. Maybe, if he does, I’ll have some new and better material next time.

Armadillos

Get Rid of Armadillo

March 2, 2011 admin Leave a comment

“Nooooo, Daddy, please don’t get rid of the armadillo! Noooo! It’s so cute. I want to keep him. I want him for my pet. Please, Daddy, pleeeease?!”

Dad groaned, and I could tell he wasn’t convinced yet that it was a great idea to keep the armadillo, much less keep it as a pet. My baby sister, Emily, is usually very convincing when she wants something, and because she’s the baby in the family, Dad usually gives in. Mom doesn’t, but Dad will, and we had a better chance with Mom if we could just get Dad on our side.

But, it would take some major pleading to keep Dad from getting rid of the armadillo. Over the last few weeks, he’d been angrier and angrier about our yard. He thought it was a dog at first, because big chunks of grass and dirt were dug up and thrown around. He almost confronted our neighbor, even, who had a big Doberman. Good thing he didn’t, because one day we noticed some of our trees were getting torn up, bark pulled off around the bottom. Oh, man, was Dad mad then! No dog does that, and after a lot of online research, Dad finally figured out it was probably an armadillo.

The way Dad ranted and raved, we all figured it would turn out to be some kind of monstrous wild creature, but when I saw it snuffling around in our grass, it was so cute! It had this long nose and these adorable ears. I stayed away from it, because I could also see the claws looked pretty sharp, but it was so sweet I had to get Emily outside to see it.

Emily squealed when she saw it. “Shhhh!” I hushed her. “If Dad sees it, he’ll just want to get rid of the armadillo. We have to make him want to keep it for a pet. You’re going to have to cry.”

“Oh, man! You always make me cry to Daddy when you want something,” Emily complained.

“Hey, you want this, too, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess.” She looked at the armadillo across the yard again. “Yeah, I really do.”

The whole time we talked, we watched the armadillo digging around a sprinkler head. It didn’t look like the pipe was going to survive the digging. Emily would have to do some serious begging!

So, here we were, in the backyard, Emily crying and pleading, the armadillo scrabbling away in the big plastic box Dad put it in, Dad scowling at the damage in the yard, and me just keeping my mouth shut.

I have to admit, I wasn’t all that surprised when Dad finally said, “I’m sorry, Em, but we’ve just got to get rid of the armadillo.”

I was surprised, though, when he added, “But, I think it may be time to get a dog. A really big dog.” Yippeee!!!

Opossums

Get Rid Of Opposum

February 25, 2011 admin Leave a comment

I need to know how to get rid of opossum and fast!

My wife and I have an RV, and we used to spend every summer driving around to different places, enjoying life on the road. I got sick two years ago, though, so the RV has just been sitting on our pad on the side of the house. My wife was so great. Sometimes, when I was feeling the worst, she would pull out a map and we would figure out where we wanted to go on our next trip. Planning it all out gave me something to look forward to, and I swear it helped me get well faster.

So, this year, I’m well enough to go. I waited until the weather warmed up a little, and then decided to get out there and get the RV ready for our upcoming trip. I woke up that Saturday morning excited and ready to work. Had no idea, though, what was in store for me.

I opened up that door and WHAM! The smell hit me like a ton of bricks. Cupboards were open, stuff was strewn all around, stuffing from the dining bench had been pulled out and matted around. The worst part, though, was the excrement. It was huge and smelled horrible . . . one of the worst odors I’ve ever smelled in my life. And some of it even looked fresh. Disgusting.

Now, my day of excitedly getting the RV ready for our summer vacation turned into a day of getting rid of opossum and cleaning up after them. Good thing my wife came running out of the house when she did, too. I was headed on into the RV with a bag to start the cleanup, but she told me that opossum droppings can have roundworm. The last thing I want to do is get sick with something else right now. We decided to call in a professional to do the cleanup and help us get rid of the opossum.

Made me so mad to see all our stuff being hauled out of the RV and thrown away. A lot of it could be salvaged, but some of it was broken or filthy. I just hoped they could get that awful smell out of there. No matter how clean and sterile they got it, I wouldn’t be able to sleep in there if any of that awful stench remained.

A neighbor caught an opossum in a raccoon trap a night or two after that, but I was sure there were more. I’m sure some mama opossum had babies in there, and opossums tend to return to their nests year after year. We had to make sure we got rid of every opossum before I’d be comfortable parking our RV in our driveway again.

Fortunately, the cleanup went well. They sterilized the RV and got rid of the smell. A few more opossum were trapped while we were gone on our trip that summer. We had a great summer after all, but it still made me mad to think some opossum family had made their home in our place. Good thing I hadn’t known about it while I was sick.

Porcupines

Get Rid of Porcupines

February 24, 2011 admin Leave a comment

As winter approaches, I shudder and wonder if there is any way I can get rid of porcupines. It seems hopeless for me. I’ve watched them throughout the spring and summer, the large ugly rodents rooting around, eating whatever they can find. They’ve eaten away most of the vegetation now, and there aren’t many choices left now that winter is coming.

Night is beginning to fall, stars are just starting to peep out, and life is quiet here. The breeze washes over me. It’s colder now and I shudder slightly. I try to enjoy the solitude, the peace, the changing of the seasons. I remember the summer: children playing, picnics, tire swings, birds nesting, the warm sun and delicious rain. But I can’t stop thinking about those monsters roaming around, free as they please, hungry, always hungry, gnawing, ever chewing. They are a danger to dogs, cats, over-curious children, but so often they forget how dangerous they are to me. Again, I try to forget about my fears and remember the beautiful times.

I began to relax ever so slightly, when my nightmare with beady black eyes appears before me. The breeze plays along its quills and it lifts its nose, snuffling a little in the evening air. My mind races and I can’t move. How can I possibly get rid of this porcupine? In my terror, I cannot think, and I am helpless, frozen and rooted to the spot as it shuffles toward me. It touches me, and I almost lose all consciousness. But, I am just not that lucky.

It circles me and then faces me, baring its teeth. Each long tooth gleams in the first rays of moonlight. Those awful teeth never stop growing, making the creature desperate to gnaw on my flesh. I am horrified as it leans towards me and slides its teeth into my skin. It chews and tears and rips it away, piece by piece. I am powerless, and each minute is an eternity of terror.

Strong claws grip into me, and it climbs even higher up onto me. It reaches a tender limb and slices it cleanly off. I desperately try not to think of slow death as disease enters into the stump of a limb. Strip by strip, limb by limb, the porcupine chews, gnaws and slices pieces off of me. Minutes are hours in my pain, but finally it climbs down off of me and waddles away in search of food. It is satisfied and hungry. I quake with what is left of me. I have a long winter ahead of me, and I can only pray that some human will get rid of the porcupines and let me rest in peace.

Rabbits

Get Rid of Rabbits

February 23, 2011 admin Leave a comment

For some reason, I assumed that I wouldn’t have to worry about getting rid of rabbits from my new garden. I realized it probably happened to some people, but that cartoons and children’s books made it seem like a bigger problem than it actually was. I had visions of shotgun toting bald men chasing cartoon rabbits out of their garden. It didn’t happen in real life, did it?

As you can tell, I was new to gardening.

I had decided I would see how self-reliant I could be. A couple neighbors had lost their jobs, and, while it didn’t seem like it could happen to me, I thought it was a wake-up call. I cut back on my frivolous spending, shopped with coupons, and decided a garden would help me be self-reliant and save money.

I spent a few days planning out my garden, deciding what I would plant, where I would plant everything, if I would use a water drip system or hose it down by hand, how I would handle weed control. I stayed up late into the night researching gardening tips online. Not once did I think about how to keep rabbits out of the garden, or how to get rid of rabbits that might come uninvited.

I tilled a large portion of my grassy yard, and turned it into a garden plot. I got a truckload of good soil and blistered my hands hoeing it into the dirt. I spent the money on a good drip water system and worked two entire Saturdays figuring out how to put it together and lay it out correctly.

I purchased the seeds. Carefully and excitedly, I planted each one to the depth marked on the seed packet. Day after day, I went out and pulled weeds, after making sure I wasn’t pulling up the vegetables and herbs I’d planted. My water system worked perfectly and within a month, I cheered as I started seeing little bits of green sprouting up in the dirt.

Within 3 months, I was happily eating spinach salads and steamed green beans, all fresh out of my garden. It was official. I was a gardener!

Then, one day, I walked out to see disaster. My beautiful spinach bunches had been nibbled almost to the ground. My tomato plants that had just started showing buds of tomatoes were gone. I wouldn’t be eating cucumbers from my garden anymore. Even my water system had been destroyed in places. I was devastated. I thought of all the time I’d devoted to this garden, and all the money I thought I’d save.

You can bet that I got rid of those rabbits that year, and the following spring, I spent plenty of time figuring how I would keep rabbits out of my precious garden. Cartoon rabbits might be funny, but the damage real rabbits cause is no joke to a gardener.

Trapper Tails