Backyard Bluster

There’s nothing quite like making a fool out of yourself in front of your neighbors. Sure, they live right next to you, you probably see them quite often. So realistically, they’ve more than likely seen you humiliate yourself on more than one occasion. But I can assure you, there is nothing quite as embarrassing as finding out your neighbor saw you battling it out with your mortal enemy in your back yard. In your boxers. With a face mask.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. How on earth did I find myself in such a compromising situation? Well allow me to tell you. It was a Tuesday morning in mid-August. Normally on any other Tuesday, I would be at work. But I had taken the day off for a sort of “Self-Care” day. I had gone to bed early the night before, slept in a little, and made myself a hearty breakfast of strawberry crepes and bacon. After breakfast, I decided to treat my skin as well. So I found a DIY recipe online for an avocado face mask, meant to brighten and enhance the skin. I was relaxing on my day bed in my living room, when all the sudden I heard a crash outside!
I sprinted to the back door, armed with a metal broom. I peeked through the back door cautiously watching for the invader. THERE! I spotted him! A fat raccoon was digging around inside my trash cans looking for a treat. I threw open the door and ran outside baring my broom. I expected the raccoon to run off when he saw me! Much to my surprise, the animal attacked me! I began swinging the broom around, trying my best to keep the animal at bay. He was so fast I almost couldn’t see him. I thought I had lost the battle, when a well-aimed swing sent him flying across the back yard. He quickly scurried away after that. I smiled to myself smugly, proud of my survival skills. I turned to walk into my house and saw for the first time, the neighbors sitting on their deck. They had seen the whole ordeal. Not a single one was able to contain their laughter.

Wormy Wonderland

There are very few things I can think of that are worse than finding a dead animal in your yard. Animals are riddled with diseases and they can stink up an area in no time! When animals die, it is extremely important to get them taken care of as soon as possible! Failure to take care of a dead animal can lead to disastrous consequences! The scent of a dead animal can lead to other dangerous predators making their way into your yard. The last thing any of us want is to have dangerous animals hanging around our homes.
Dead animals can be carriers for a great plethora of diseases. Diseases such as rabies, bubonic plague, and West Nile encephalitis have all been found on dead animals of all breeds. Even though we may have treatments for diseases like these, would you ever want to take the chance? Now that we’ve gone over a few of the dangers that dead animals can pose when they’ve been found on your property, let’s talk about the best way to take care of them.
There are several courses of action that could be taken to remove dead animals. The first would be to call the state health and safety department, this will ensure that they dispose of the carcass in a safe manner. Another way (depending on the size of the animal) would be trash disposal. For many, this is the preferred method. Using a shovel and gloves, carefully place the dead animal in a garbage bag. It is often easier if you “double-wrap” the dead animal. You can then place the animal in the garbage cans or dumpsters in your neighborhood. The final option, and probably best way, is to call a local exterminator or trapper. They will take care of the mess for you and ensure that the animal is disposed of properly. They may also offer cleaning and sanitizing services depending on the situation.
Please remember that if you are going to take care of the body on your own, WEAR GLOVES! It is extremely important that you wash your hands, wear gloves, and avoid touching the animal at all costs. Even though the animal is dead, the bacteria and viruses that the animal carried can still be a threat to you and your health. Make sure that the tools you use to dispose of the animal are properly cleaned after the removal takes place. Take care to clean the clothes you were wearing when disposing of the animal, just as a precaution.

Coon Con-artist

As most people know, raccoons are some the smartest, most cunning animals in the world. Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say smart I suppose, but they are extremely determined and it takes a lot to throw them off their prize. A good example of this is what happened to me in the spring of 2012, the beginning of the summer was fairly uneventful. But once the days got hotter and longer things began to take a turn for the worst. It started with just a few mishaps. In fact, I hardly would have noticed them at all if my visiting daughter hadn’t brought it up.
It all started when my daughter came down to stay with us a few days. After the first night she came downstairs in the morning complaining about the scratching and sounds she had heard in the walls all night. I was confused, I’d never heard any sounds like that. I assured her that I would spend the night in the upstairs room to make sure that there weren’t any sounds. Well needless to say, I didn’t get a wink of sleep that night! You could hear the little buggers crawling all over the place! The first thing I did the next morning was call up a professional trapper to come take care of our problem.
Well, after thoroughly checking out our house, the coon connoisseur found several entrances that the raccoons could be using. He set up cameras that would tell us which entrances the raccoons were using so that we could get them sealed. We had to endure another couple days of those dirty fur balls running around in our walls before we could check the entrances. When the day finally came for us to unveil the secret entrances those little bandits were using I could hardly contain my excitement! I was beyond ready to get rid of this problem. When the trapper got there, we crowded around his little video camera to see what the verdict was. And you’ll never believe it…
Not a single raccoon went in or out any of the entrances that we had been surveying. We were all in awe. How did the raccoons get in the house? It wasn’t like they could just walk in the front door! We sat around and talked for a while trying to brainstorm ideas of how the raccoons were getting in. We were onto the idea of them tunneling underneath the house when we heard a large crash coming from the upstairs bedroom. We rushed up the stairs to see what had caused the commotion, and there frantically running around the room was one of the raccoons!
After several minutes of frantic screaming and chasing, we finally had the raccoon subdued. The exterminator laughed when he realized that the raccoons had been getting in through the window that my daughter opened at night. Once they had entered the house, they found their way to the attic where they begun to wreak their havoc.

Star of Starlings

Starlings are considered to be some of the most breathtaking birds on the planet. With their vibrant coloring and gregarious personalities. They’re highly social birds, they often travel in large flocks. Some roosts can number in the thousands of birds. But, we are not to talk about the species as a whole. Although they are an incredible group of birds, we are going to focus on one in particular. Her name was Satine. She was the Star of all the Starlings.
She had the signature iridescent plumage of starlings, but hers was a deep royal blue that stood out against some of the more gray feathers of some of her counterparts. She flew between many flocks throughout the year. Touring the world and meeting other starlings. After a while they began to talk about this beautiful blue bird with a talent unlike any other. Most starlings can imitate multiple other bird calls. But Satine was different. For in her travels, she learned to imitate nearly 25 different species. She also learned to mimic some sounds from the human world. She mimicked ringing phones, and police whistles. Word of her talent spread across the world and soon, birds from all over asked her to teach them her ways.
She began to travel the globe, teaching starlings from all over how to sing the song of others. She became known as “Satine the Starling Star”. She was hailed and soon became a name known to every starling on the planet. As she got older, her song began to fade. She began to lose her imitations. One by one she lost the sounds she had learned. She continued to lose them until she only had one song left. It was her original song. And although it was nothing compared to the sounds she once sang, it became her signature. Instead of focusing on what she had lost, she became focused on teaching the starlings how to discover their own song. A tradition that many starlings still carry on today. She was the mother of the starling song. The beautiful Satine, The Starling Star.