Possum in Closet

December 13, 2012 admin Leave a comment

I tugged on my rubber snow boots, grumbling, as my husband spoke-whispered something about a possum in the closet. What on earth? My husband and I had been married a total of thirty-two hours, and already we were dealing with some middle of the night crisis with a wild animal. This wasn’t exactly the honeymoon I’d dreamed about since I was a teenager. Sure, I gave up the idea of lazing around in a bikini on a Caribbean beach, and I had decided it was okay to forego a Mediterranean cruise, or even a railway trip through Europe. I’d fallen in love with a man who loved nature and being in the mountains, and so I came to terms with a romantic remote mountain cabin as our honeymoon destination.

The cabin belonged to his uncle, and my husband had spent several weeks a year up here. When we got married, his parents and brothers had chipped in and bought it from his uncle, who had wanted to sell it anyway. They gave it to us. For my dear husband, this was the best honeymoon destination ever. He could share his love of nature with me, and create new memories with his family over the years.

Yesterday, we’d tramped along some of his favorite trails. The fall air was chilly, but perfect for the gorgeous changing leaves. We had bundled up together when we got back to the cabin, drinking hot drinks by the fire. An Italian beach would have been nice, but this was so much better. It was more intimate, and I loved how much my husband was enjoying sharing this with me.

I felt different when he woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to come quietly to the kitchen, that there was a possum in the closet. I had never seen one, and really didn’t care to see one right then, especially indoors. But, I tugged on my boots, gathered a warm blanket around me, and tiptoed as quietly as one can tiptoe in snowboots. When we got to the kitchen, he quietly opened up the closet door and gently pulled out a mostly empty bag of dog food. His uncle had always brought his dog up here, and we hadn’t cleared out the closets when we got here.

The bag had been chewed open at one of the bottom corners, so my husband carefully pulled the bag up and into a nearby plastic bin. He opened up the top of the bag and shone his flashlight in. I peered inside.

Sure enough, there was a baby possum asleep, or playing dead, inside the bag. I was fascinated. I’d never seen anything like that before. Greyish, white, with a long head and odd ears. Its eyes shone, and it popped up. Quickly, my husband put the lid on the bin and took the whole thing outside to let it go.

A few thoughts went through my head then. I was happy I had a husband who knew how to handle things like a possum in the closet. I was very tired. I wondered where on earth the mother possum was hiding. I really would have been very happy on a Caribbean beach.

Mice

Mice in the House

December 11, 2012 admin Leave a comment

Decorating for the holidays is not one of my favorite things to do, especially when you make the discovery you have mice in the house at the same time.

I wish I was one of those women who look forward to the holidays, who has the house perfectly decorated by the night of Thanksgiving, who constantly boils apple juice and cinnamon sticks and cloves just to make the house smell nice, who passes out all the Christmas goodies to her neighbors by the first weekend of December, and who has all the Christmas gifts purchased and wrapped by the end of October. I’m just not that kind of woman.

I’m more the type of person who gets annoyed at all the unnecessary parties I have to plan or attend, and at the loss of every single weekend in December. I have an Oh-Crap moment about the second week of December and pull out the dusty holiday decoration boxes that are completely disorganized after last year’s desperate holiday clean up attempt in the middle of January. I have a second Oh-Crap moment about the third week of December when I have to finally finish all my holiday shopping, and end up getting gift cards for more than half the people on my list.

So, when I pulled out the box containing the pre-lit Christmas tree, I sighed for about the hundredth time that day. I would have to rearrange the furniture in the front room so I could somehow fit this tree in there. I would have to assemble the tree and make sure all the lights still worked. I’d have to fluff out the branches in a sad attempt to make it look like a real tree, while trying to avoid scratching my arms too badly. I’d have to sort through my tree decorations, toss the ones that broke during last year’s packing, and make it look festive enough. I did this so my kids could enjoy Christmas. I did not personally enjoy it. So, I did the basic decorating while the kids were at school so they wouldn’t see my “Bah Humbug” attitude.

I reached in the box to pull out the first part of the tree, and gasped when my hand touched something soft that moved. Then I had one of those delay-screams. You know, when you scream after you realize what exactly happened, and then you have to wait until you have enough breath to get the scream out. I’d touched a mouse. Matter of fact, I’d touched several mice. There was a nest in my Christmas tree box!

The mice were just as terrified and surprised as I was, because they jumped out of the box and scattered. I now had mice in my house. I continued screeching as I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Plunging my hand into water as hot as I could stand, I realized my cell phone was in the other room. I’d have to brave the mice just to call for help. Hopefully, I could get someone to my house before the kids came home so we could get rid of the mice before they had to know about it.

Merry Christmas.

I’m not decorating next year.

Bats

Bat in the House

November 21, 2012 admin Leave a comment

I recently dealt with a bat in the house, and had a whole adventure with it before finally calling Allstate Animal Control to get rid of the bat and make sure I didn’t have any more living in the attic or chimney or anywhere else. Before this all happened, I had no fear of bats. I saw them in the zoo. I caught glimpses of them flying around the nearby park when I was running at twilight. I know they keep insect populations down, especially mosquitoes, which are a real problem around here. I know they are pretty amazing animals. So, I never had a fear of them.

Until I stepped on one in my bare feet.

Yep, that was pretty awful.

It was mid afternoon. I’d just come home from class and I was getting ready for work. I’m trying to get my bachelors degree, and then I want a masters in business administration. Between work, school and my social life, I keep myself pretty busy, and I don’t spend a lot of time at home. So, I didn’t know I had a bat problem. I had grabbed a bowl of cereal for lunch (don’t judge me), and was taking it back to my room so I could eat while looking for my shoes, since I didn’t have a lot of time before work. I turned the corner into my room quickly and as soon as I stepped down, I knew something was terribly wrong. Something hairy, squirmy and very angry was wriggling beneath my foot. I pulled my foot up, and this black shadow flew straight up to the ceiling, bumped around up there, and then settled out of sight on the top of my book shelf. I didn’t even have breath left to scream, and I desperately needed to disinfect my foot, make sure I didn’t have a bat bite, and probably hire a hypnotherapist to make me permanently forget the memory of stepping on a bat.

I certainly didn’t want to investigate to see whether the bat was still alive. I pulled the bedroom door shut, washed my feet about twenty times, cleaned up the spilled cereal, pulled on a different pair of shoes from the downstairs closet, and headed out to work. During my break, I called United Wildlife Control so they could send a professional out to get rid of the bat in my house, and check to make sure I didn’t have a bat colony lurking around anywhere else.

Now, of course, I’m terrified of bats. I’ve gone running in the park a few times since then, and every time I see one out of the corner of my eye, innocently swooping around in the air to catch itself some dinner, I stifle a shriek, start to shake, and my foot involuntarily curls up. I’m sure my reaction will lessen as time goes by, but in the meantime, I think I’ll join a gym and run on a treadmill.

Beaver

Beaver Damage

November 20, 2012 admin Leave a comment

My wife got so sick of my bellyaching about the beaver damage down by the creek, that she kicked me out of the house this morning with my video camera so I could at least record it. It’s just such a shame to have so many trees comin’ down out there. We’ve lived here for near on twenty years, and we’ve never had so much trouble as we do this year. I’ve been trying to get the county to do somethin’ about it, but they keep tellin’ me it’s lean times and all, and they barely have enough funds to keep up with snow removal and fixin’ pot holes. It means the landowners around here are gonna have to do somethin’ ourselves, or we’re gonna be in a real fix before too long. Property taxes have been goin’ up something awful over the last few years, and the county council members all got raises. Plus, they hired a few more people up in the county offices. So, I’m getting’ pretty worked up that they refuse to help us out here. If they don’t, I think they’ll find the beaver damage will cost ‘em a lot more than if they’d removed the beavers causin’ all the problems in the first place.

Well, my wife has heard me say this over and over and over again. She keeps tellin’ me I ought to do something about it other than just preachin’ to the choir. So, she shoved the camera in my hand this morning and told me to get out there and get something on record. That way, I’d have something to take to the city council and see if they’ll finally get off their butts and do something about it.

So, I got myself out here with my dog, Trixie, and we had no problem findin’ most of the trees the beavers took down. Most of ‘em are pretty young trees, only about two to five years old, maybe. There’s one that’s an old oak tree, though. Been there for as long as we’ve been here, and you can see the beavers have been working at it. Probably taken ‘em weeks and weeks of chewing on that thing just to get it down to a point where it’s teetering over a bit. Won’t take ‘em much longer to get that old tree down. Shame. Just a shame.

I counted over thirty trees been taken down, some of them in the creek, and you can see where the creek’s risin’ up past the banks. Downhill from here, about only a quarter mile or so, is a main road. When that creek gets dammed up, no telling what the water damage is gonna do. Some of the trees have been knocked over a popular jogging trail, so someone’s going to have to clear that up come Spring, when people come out here to walk or ride their bikes.

Yep, I’ll have to bring this tape into the council and see if they’ll figure something out so they can afford to get some professional in here to rid of the beaver and clean up the beaver damage. Dunno what I’ll do if they ignore me again this time.

Armadillos

Armadillos in the Yard

November 19, 2012 admin Leave a comment

As a recipient of many, many boring videos from Grandpa, I’m so grateful he and Grandma now have armadillos in their yard. Grandpa retired about five years ago. It almost drove him crazy, and it almost made Grandma homicidal. Grandpa is the kind of guy who just wasn’t cut out for retired life. He needs to always have a project, a hobby, ways of filling up the hours of every day. He was born towards the end of the Great Depression, and his parents were extremely hard working, frugal people. So, that’s how he grew up. He worked hard his whole life, threw himself into whatever he did. He was an engineer who helped build water systems for cities, pipelines and dams. Even though he had a demanding job, he would come home and spend hours working in the shed, tinkering around with one thing or another.

He didn’t want to retire, either. But, Grandma was tired of moving around from city to city every few years when an engineering project was complete. She wanted to live near her grandkids. So, after a few years of back and forth between the two of them, he retired. His eyesight had already started to fail him, so tinkering around in the shed or work room became more and more difficult. He drifted aimlessly around the house, getting in Grandma’s way, and starting one project or another, and then losing interest in it. He needed a hobby, and he needed one soon, or things could go horribly, horribly wrong.

My Dad got together with my aunts and uncles, and they all decided to chip in and buy Grandpa a new video camera for his birthday. He loved it, and started filming everything. One of my cousins got the not-so-bright idea to show Grandpa how to edit the films and email them. Soon, our emails were flooded with videos showing Grandma planting tulip bulbs, the dust in the chimney (seriously, we got a video about dust), and videos of photo albums.

Then, the day arrived when Grandpa discovered armadillos in the yard. It gave him an interesting subject. He documented the scrapes the armadillos made in the grass. He lay in wait until they came out and filmed them scuttling around the yard, foraging. He showed how they lived under the stairs. They even came right up and sniffed his boots, and he got that on film. Of course, he had to explain that he was sorry the lens cap was in the frame, but the camera was pointed straight down and there was nothing he could do about the dangling lens cap.

Grandpa’s editing techniques leave a lot to be desired, and certainly his narrative could be livened up. However, with the armadillos in his yard, at least his subject is a lot more interesting.

Woodpeckers

Woodpecker Damage

November 14, 2012 admin Leave a comment

Woodpecker damage plus that horrible ruffling, feathery, rustling noise followed by the blasted bird tapping on our roof and walls equals a very angry man in the morning.

My husband is a very even-tempered guy. His favorite phrase is “go with the flow,” which, of course, drives me crazy sometimes when I’m particularly frustrated at something beyond my control. But, he’s helped me to learn to be more easy going and find good things about even the most frustrating moments.

He particularly helped me when we were building this home. We did the general contracting ourselves, which turned out to be one headache after another, since we didn’t really know what we were doing. In an effort to keep the costs down, we also did a lot of the work ourselves. We’d work all day, then change into grubby clothes, drive out to our new home site, and put up dry wall, or build railings, or sand walls, lay carpet, or just clean up the site. We literally poured blood, sweat and tears into this home.

I would get angry at some subcontractor for not showing up when he said he would, or a flooring supply company for overcharging us. My husband would remind me that there are more important things in life, and he’d take over, calmly renegotiating and eventually getting everyone to follow through on their promises. I learned to keep calm and let the tension go.

My newfound character improvement came in handy, though, when the woodpecker started attacking our home. After all the hard work we put into the house, and all the hard earned money we sunk into it, my husband went nuts when he surveyed woodpecker damage up near the eaves.

We woke up one morning to this odd rustling noise just outside our second story bedroom window. We were confused, because we don’t have mature trees, yet, and so we don’t have a lot of birds or squirrels around our property. Then, the unmistakable tap tap tapping started, and we knew it had to be a woodpecker. My husband charged outside, scared off the bird, and came in fuming mad about the woodpecker damage.

He repaired the damage on Saturday, but Sunday morning, we woke up to the awful knocking noise again. The woodpecker was just perched on the stucco, tapping holes into our brand new home. My husband went nuts, cursing and throwing things at the bird. The bird was back not ten minutes after my husband came back inside, and I really thought he was going to lose it. I reminded him of his “go with the flow” philosophy, but he would have none of it until I got online and found the contact information for Allstate Animal Control. They assured me they could have someone out to our home soon to get rid of the woodpecker, and repair the woodpecker damage. I explained it all to my husband, who was finally able to calm down. I have to admit, it was nice to be the one reminding him not to be tense for a change.

Mice

Mouse Removal

November 1, 2012 admin Leave a comment

“Are you crazy?? Asking me to get rid of the mouse. Please. Do you even know me?”

Jenna looked at her roommate, Ally, as they sat on the couch in her room, both making sure their legs were nowhere near the floor. Jenna had shoved a blanket under the tightly closed door in the hopes the mouse they’d spotted wouldn’t be able to get in the bedroom.

This was one of the rare nights when they were both home at the same time. Usually, one of them had a date, or had a shift at work, or had class. So they’d decided to make homemade pizza and watch an old chick flick together. They joked and talked about Ally’s boyfriend and Jenna’s most recent dating catastrophe while they pulled ingredients out in their tiny kitchen and laughingly argued about the best ways to make pizza dough. Jenna had opened a cabinet to search for pizza sauce when something moved behind the boxes and cans. “What the . . . ?” Jenna said, pulling things out. She was, by far, the braver of the two girls, and thought it was possibly a large spider that needed to be killed. Instead, as she pulled out a couple of boxes of pasta to see into the back of the cabinet better, a little brown mouse leapt out of the cabinet, onto the kitchen floor and disappeared under the refrigerator. A breathless moment passed, then both girls screamed, dropped whatever they had been holding, and ran into Jenna’s room, slamming the door behind them.

Jenna was the braver of the two girls, but not by much.

Now, they were stuck in Jenna’s room. They’d both left their cell phones back in the kitchen. Jenna’s laptop was also in the kitchen, where she normally did her homework. They were either going to be stuck in Jenna’s room for hours until Ally’s boyfriend dropped by after his shift at work, or one of them would have to overcome their fears and get rid of the mouse. Neither option sounded really good.

Jenna had hoped that Ally would step up and offer to get rid of the mouse, since Jenna was always the one who killed spiders and other insects that got into the apartment. It was a long shot, she knew, but it was worth a try. Ally would have none of it. She was a girlie-girl in all senses of the word, and didn’t get near creepy-crawlies on principle, as well as a deep-seated fear. Jenna would have to do it, or wait until Ally’s boyfriend came by hours later.

Jenna used a hanger to peel the blanket away from under the door while she stayed on the safety of the couch. To their relief, no mouse immediately ran in to attack them. Then, she reached over the arm of the couch, yanked the door open and peered into the hallway. With a deep breath and a squeal, Jenna jumped into the hallway, ran to the kitchen, snapped up her cell phone, ran back, and slammed the door behind her. The first call to Ally’s boyfriend got them nowhere. He couldn’t get off work early, but he’d come as soon as he could. The second call was to Allstate Animal Control. Ally’s boyfriend assured them they’d send someone out to get rid of the mouse, and make sure there weren’t any more mice running around. Neither girl got any sleep that night.

Chipmunks

Get Rid of Chipmunks

October 31, 2012 admin Leave a comment

Chipmunks are cute and all, but when they destroy $1500 worth of tulips and prize azaleas, it’s time to get rid of chipmunks.

Chipmunk reaching for berries — A chipmunk causing damage to a garden.
(Artwork by Sharon Davis. Contact us for her contact info.)

At first I didn’t think it was a very big problem. They’re cute, and skittishly friendly. When my grandkids came over, I used to hand them a small baggie full of seed to toss out to the chipmunks, and we’d watch the little animals jump and chatter and play and stuff their cheeks with seeds. Sometimes I’d look out the window in the evening and see one digging in a flower pot, burying the seed it scored from us earlier that day. Occasionally, chipmunks would dig a shallow burrow underneath one of our out buildings and have her babies. We’d approach as closely as we dared, so as not to disturb them, and ooh and coo over the tiny little creatures. It was sweet, it was cute, it was a bonding moment with nature.

Then, they started to cause damage. So, now it’s time to figure out how to get rid of chipmunks.

My husband had been so certain that the little holes all over the yard and planting areas were the results of some other creature, like a rabbit or a vole. He did all kinds of research to figure out how to solve that problem. But, one day, as I was washing dishes, I smiled as I watched a chipmunk cavorting through our back yard. It headed towards the area where I’d just planted some special tulip bulbs I’d recently had shipped to me. Tulips are my favorite flower, and after a recent visit to Holland, I couldn’t resist purchasing bulbs of the more exotic-looking varieties. I spent an entire Saturday planting those bulbs throughout the yard, and especially in an area right next to my favorite outdoor bench. I watched as the chipmunk scampered over the lawn, towards the freshly turned dirt, and then disappear.

Curious, I went out to investigate. To my shock, there were tiny little holes all over the tulip garden area. As I made my rounds throughout the planting areas and yard, I saw more and more of these holes. To my shock, as I was watching, a chipmunk popped out of one about four feet in front of me, chattered loudly at me, and ran up a nearby tree. Bold as you please.

We let it go, and didn’t get rid of the chipmunks that winter. We figured they needed a warm place to burrow, so we didn’t do anything about it. The following spring, only a handful of my precious tulips came up, and my prized azaleas died. Cute or not, it was time to get rid of chipmunks.

Porcupines

Get Rid of Porcupines

October 30, 2012 admin Leave a comment

When you’re sitting in a barn, pulling quills out of a very angry horse, you come to one conclusion: Get rid of porcupines.

Now, it’s true that porcupines aren’t vicious animals. They don’t carry a lot of diseases, they don’t go on the offensive and chase after you with sharp teeth, they try to stay out of your way. But, they are a nuisance and a pest, and I want to get rid of porcupines from off my property.

I’ve seen evidence of porcupine damage around the place. The side of the barn got chewed up a little, and a couple of my apricot saplings died because a porcupine chewed up the trunk pretty good. The only time I saw one in person is when I accidentally clipped one with my truck. It scuttled off into the trees, so it seemed unhurt, but I was pulling quills out of my tire that night.

One of my dogs got some quills in the face, and has avoided going back outside at night ever since. She’s a pretty small and mischievous dog, who just likes to chase anything that moves. We find it endearing. The porcupine did not. Once the quills get inside a body, they’re not easy to pull out. One buddy of mine suggested I cut the ends off the quills to get rid of a suction-effect. I didn’t feel any difference. The barbs on the quills make them all hard to pull out, suction or no suction, and very painful to the dog. But the dog is small and trusting, and was easy enough to hold down while my sons and I pulled out each quill, one by one. A horse is another matter.

I’d taken this horse out for a long ride just the day before, so I was giving her a rest, just letting her graze in our meadow. She loves to just run as fast as she can from one fence to the other. She’s also a curious horse. I’m sure her curiosity got the better of her, and she got too close to a porcupine. She must’ve cornered it, or made it nervous, because she got quills in both of her front legs.

Yep, time to get rid of porcupines.

I had to call the vet to come out and help me calm the horse down long enough to pull out all the quills. Now, we’re worried about infection. Not that a porcupine is poisonous or anything, but the tiny wounds could get infected if we’re not careful.

I’m tired of pulling out porcupine quills from my animals or tires. I’m tired of finding holes chewed through my outbuildings. It’s time to call Allstate Animal Control and get rid of the porcupines.

Feral Cats

Get Rid of Feral Cats

October 29, 2012 admin 1 Comment

My owner just has to understand she needs to get rid of feral cats. If I’m going to be labeled an “outside cat,” then I gotta be safe. I gotta make sure my food bowl belongs just to me, not to any old cat that wanders by. I need to stay healthy, which means these mangy feral cats shouldn’t infect me with their nasty little mites and ticks and other tiny creepy crawlies. And, my bed. Oh, my bed is mine. But half the time I have to chase one of these wild cats away from my own bed, and I’ve gotten scratched and bit more than once. Imagine, my precious, silky fur and skin marred by a wild cat’s scratch. Yep, my owner has got to get rid of feral cats.

The day my owner decided enough was enough and made me an “outdoor cat” came as a complete shock to me. So what if I scratched up her new leather couch? Isn’t that why she bought it, so I could keep my claws nice and sharp? And, I really did think the litter box was optional. Sometimes that corner on the carpet, right by the fireplace, was the most convenient and comfortable place to relieve myself. She let me get away with all of that for a while, and then HE came. Some complete stranger that made her get all lovey-dovey. He would be fine over at our house for a while, until he started sneezing and wheezing and sniffling and chuffing. What was his problem, anyway?

One day, after an innocent little “marking” incident in her closet, my owner just set me out. I guess she just can’t take it. She set me up pretty nicely, though. As an outdoor cat, I get a little more freedom, she got me a nice cozy and secure bed, and she makes sure to set food out for me twice a day. I miss curling up on her slippers, or the warmth of the bed, or jumping up on the kitchen counters. But, the outside life isn’t so bad. That is, except for the neighbors. We have just got to figure out a way to get rid of feral cats so I can enjoy my territory without fear of finding one of them curled up in my bed or chomping on my food.

I thought I could get rid of feral cats on my own. I marked the perimeter of my territory, and spent several nights fighting with them to scare them off. But, there are a couple of them that keep showing up. It’s annoying to fight them off of my food dish or out of my sleeping box, but I’m afraid I’m going to end up really sick or injured one of these days.

It’s definitely time my owner get Allstate Animal Control to get rid of feral cats. Then, I can go back to destroying, I mean enjoying, my owner’s home all by myself.

Trapper Tails