Tag Archives: swallow nests

Swallows on the House

I know it’s an irrational fear, but I’m very much afraid of the swallows on our house.  Some people are afraid of heights, some people are afraid of water.  I am afraid of birds.  They call it ornithophobia, and apparently it’s pretty common.  Some people are terrified of large birds of prey, but I can’t stand any bird whatsoever, large or small.  I don’t overreact, for the most part.  When I have a run-in with a bird, I freeze, get the sweats, and then, depending on the situation, I might run away screaming like a fourth-grade-girl chased by a boy with cooties.  Like I said, I don’t normally overreact.

 

We have a skylight in our second floor, which I’ve absolutely loved.  I was lying on the couch underneath it, staring up at the sky, trying to think through a problem at work.  That’s when I heard it.  It was a small sound at first, but enough to jolt me out of my brainstorming.  Something alive was restlessly stirring around over my head.  Then, something brown, with pointy wings, flew over the skylight, directly above me, joining whatever creature already occupied my roof.  Some part of me detached from my knee-jerk fear reaction, and the rational part of my brain analyzed what I had just witnessed, causing me to realize there were swallows on my house.  The irrational part of my brain wanted me to throw things at the ceiling to scare them away, and then hide in a fetal position in a closet until the disgusting things were gone.  I’m a grown man.  I rejected the desire to flee to the dark protection of the nearest closet.  Instead, I ran out of the room calling for my wife.  I thought I used a very normal tone of rational voice to call her name.  She says I squeaked and croaked something unintelligible.  Whatever I said, and however I said it, she did come running right away.

 

I somehow managed to communicate the reason for my flight, and she walked in the room to investigate.  Sure enough, we had two swallows on the house, and it looked like they were building a nest.  My loving and supporting wife laughingly suggested I climb onto the roof to take a look for myself.  In response, I looked up the contact information for Allstate Animal Control and made an appointment for someone to come and take a look for me.  For the first time since spotting the revolting things, I was relieved.  Someone was going to remove the swallows from my house.

 

It might be a while before I can relax under my skylight again, though.  I won’t even try to analyze why I’m so afraid of birds, but one thing’s for sure.  I refuse to allow any bird, including swallows, on my house.

 

 

Swallow Control

swallow removal

I have got to get some swallow control out here fast.  My home’s pretty new, just about 4 years old.  I did a lot of the work on the home myself, and was my own general contractor on the things I couldn’t or didn’t want to do, like the framing, concrete pouring, etc.  The point is, I’ve been involved with building my home from the beginning.  After it was built, I dove into landscaping and have put a lot of sweat, blood and sometimes bad words into long weekends devoted to making my house look beautiful.

And now, despite all my hard work, I need swallow control.  These swallows aren’t as awful from a distance.  I actually love to watch birds, and these birds are interesting.  Swooping, diving, keeping the mosquito population down and singing.  But, no matter how interesting they are to watch from a distance, I can not stand it when they try to build their mud nests around my house.  I keep trying to hose the mud down before they get very far on their nest-building, and I thought it would discourage them.  I really thought they’d move on to another area or at least find a more natural habitat.  But, no, they just try building on a different spot on my home.

First, it was directly on the stucco right above my front door.  After I sprayed that, they started building behind the light sensor.  I knocked down the mud drops that were the beginning of that nest, only to have them select an area out of my reach and out of the reach of my hose.  Now, they’re almost done building their mud nest on the stucco directly underneath the eaves at the very top of my home.  I’m at my wit’s end, and need professional swallow control help.

It wouldn’t be so bad, if it was just that sticky and then cement-like mud they make to build their nests.  That’s bad enough, because it never really comes off completely unless I get up there and physically scrub it off with a wire brush.  No, the reason I need professional swallow control is because they are pooping everywhere.  They land on the gutters, window sills, stone edges, patio.  And, everywhere they sit, they poop.

It’s disgusting dealing with the mud drops, mud nests and swallow droppings, and I just have had it.  I would rather be spending my time putting in the stone walkway I’ve designed, or building the gazebo I want.  Instead, I’m wasting my limited time trying to do swallow control myself, and I’m done.  I’ve spent too much time, too much money, and too much effort making my home look great just to have it all messed up by a bunch of free-loading swallows.  Enough is enough.

Get Rid of Swallows

swallow removal

I’m just a sweet, old tabby cat who wants to take naps in the soft grass in the backyard instead of worrying about how to get rid of swallows.

There is a spot in the backyard that is a little spot of cat heaven.  It has been my spot and mine only for the last three summers.  The grass is soft, and wonderfully fragrant right after a good mow, the sun hits it just right in the morning, so it’s warm on my belly, but not too warm.  It’s right in between the house, where I have food and water, and the grouping of trees with its luscious and plentiful squirrels and birds.  I can chase them, if I want to, but as the years go by, I prefer to think about the chase as their chitters and chirps invade my cat dreams in the sun.

But, this year is different.  This year, my perfect napping spot is tainted by the presence of swooping, angry mud swallows.  At first, I enjoyed watching them as they flew between the small nearby pond and the house, tiny bits of mud in their beaks.  They would daub the mud up onto the house itself, right under the eaves, building up a nest.  I didn’t think much of it, although occasionally I would gather up enough strength to rise and swat at them as they flew overhead, especially after a little glob of mud rained down on my nose.

Now the nest is built, and I thought it would mean the end of the incessant flying back and forth and back and forth.  Little did I know it was about to become worse.  Now, my thoughts are on how to get rid of swallows instead of dreaming of chasing squirrels and deciding whether to go inside and eat or stay and sleep.

The eggs have hatched, and the tiny baby birds are amazingly noisy, keeping me from fully falling into my cat dreams.  To make matters worse, the two adult swallows now see me as a threat, and actually try to chase me out of my perfect cat-napping spot.  They swoop down on me, daring to get close enough that I think I’m going to get a beak in the neck if I’m not careful.  I have to watch the two of them at once, attacking and swirling around me.  I leap, and twist and bat at them with my powerful cat claws, but they circle around too fast and avoid my half-hearted attacks.

One of these days, I’ll figure out how to actually get rid of swallows.  Swallows come back year after year after year, and I just don’t want to deal with the constant chirping and dizzy swooping.  Sigh.  Maybe I’ll just look for a new perfect napping spot.

Swallow Problems

When I took this job as property manager for an assisted living center, I was told that I’d probably have to deal with “a little” swallow problem.  Yeah, right.  I guess it was a little problem with swallows a few years ago, but none of my predecessors did anything about it, so now I’m stuck with a huge amount of barn swallows dipping and swooping.  At least they keep the mosquito population down, but I don’t feel as if it’s worth it.

Our property is close to a city park, and this time of year there’s a big mud hole in one portion of the park.  The swallows carry the mud, beak-full by beak-full, and use the mud pellets to build their nests right under the eaves and up against the stucco.  Of course, that means I’m constantly cleaning up mud pellets off of the sides of the buildings and off the sidewalks.  I try to catch every nest, and my crew is out there nearly every day power-washing the mud pellets off of walls instead of taking care of other maintenance jobs.

I have a ton of phone calls from some of the nature-loving residents who are mad that we are trying to keep the swallows from building there, and other residents who are mad that we haven’t been successful at getting rid of the swallow problem entirely.  While I sympathize with the residents who enjoy watching the birds flying around outside their window, I have to think of their health and safety first.

The mud and swallow droppings that accumulate on sidewalks and doorsteps are a serious hazard.  Residents, employees and guests can easily slip and fall.  The risk of falling is bad, but more people complain of swallow droppings staining their cars, dropping on their heads or shirts.  An unexpected “swallow bomb” is no fun when it’s in your hair, on the side of your face, or staining your shirt.

Once baby birds have hatched, the swallow problem gets even worse.  Not only do you have more birds staining the sides of the building, walkways and doorways, but the adult swallows get aggressive.  In an effort to protect their nests, they dive and attack anyone who walks nearby.  We had one resident who was actually hit in the head by a swallow, lost his balance and was injured.

And then, there are the bugs.  Little swallow bugs that bite like fleas.  They get inside the buildings, hide behind wall art, in beds, in outlets.  Even the nature-loving residents, who root for the swallows to finish building their nests before my power-washers hit them, are much less enthusiastic when confronted with bugs in their beds.  We’re struggling with insect extermination as well as trying to remove the swallow problem.

Of course, as swallows are federally protected, I have to be very careful we’re not breaking any laws in our seemingly fruitless war against the birds.  At certain times of the year, the problem with swallows takes priority over everything else, and the other demands of my job are left incomplete.  It has become too costly in time, manpower and funds to handle this problem alone.  I have finally decided it is so much more worth it to get a professional wildlife removal service out here to take care of the problem, so I can get on with the business of managing this property correctly.