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Snakes

Snake Removal

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Snake removal isn’t something you think about at all, until you need it.  Rick and I had just moved in together a few weeks ago, and we were still making a few adjustments to having another person around all the time.  We don’t really fight, but we are great at bickering, and we’d already bickered over groceries, over who has to do the dishes, and even how to make the bed.  But, we loved each other and we were happy to be together.

He had gone to bed kind of early that night, and I stayed up late working on my laptop.  I tried to focus on the presentation I had to make at work the next day, but it got harder and harder as the night got later and later.  As I tried to decide whether to just go to bed or get some caffeine and stay up even later, a book fell off the bookshelf all by itself.  I have to admit, I jumped, and my tired brain immediately thought of the last horror movie I’d seen.

I told myself I was being stupid and crossed the room to replace the book.  As I bent down to pick it up off the floor, something moved behind the books remaining on the shelf.  I screamed, threw the book and jumped backwards on the couch all at the same time.  My boyfriend came tearing down the stairs to see what was going on.

I didn’t even know what to tell him.  “There’s something behind the books!” I finally got out.  He must’ve thought I was being silly over a spider or something, because he got kind of angry and yanked a couple of books out.  “Breeeaaaaah!”  I have no idea what he meant to say, but he made some kind of weird noise.  That’s when we realized we had a snake in the house.

After his initial shock, Rick went into snake removal action.  He grabbed a five-iron from his golf bag in the hall closet and stalked towards the bookshelf.  “What do you think you’re going to do with that?” I laughed.  Shock and adrenaline had turned into laughter.  The whole situation seemed ridiculous.

“I’m gonna get rid of the snake,” he said, ignoring my giggles.  Despite my levity, I remained perched on the back of the couch, far away from the snake in the bookshelf.

“With a golf club?”

“That’s right.”  Rick used the club to pull the remaining books off the shelf, and I screamed again as the snake wriggled onto the floor.  Quickly, Rick pinned the snake against the floor with the five-iron and then looked at me.  “Now what?” he asked.

“Ummm, tongs!” I yelled, pleased with my quick thinking.  I ran out the back door and came back triumphantly with his barbeque tongs.

“What’m I supposed to do with this?” Rick growled as the trapped snake tried desperately to get away.

“Put the tongs behind its head so it can’t bite you, and then carry it outside.”

Rick turned to look at me, which loosened his grip on the club.  The snake, feeling less pressure, made a bold move and got free, which sparked a whole new series of screams from me.  Fortunately, he was able to trap the snake again.  Without looking at me this time, he calmed me down and then said, “Go find a number for a snake removal service and call them.”

I agreed that was a good idea and crawled over the back side of the couch to turn my laptop back on.

“Oh, and ask them what I should do with this thing while I’m waiting for them to show up and get rid of the snake, okay?”

As I dialed the number on my cell phone, I muttered, “I bet they tell you to use tongs.”  Rick didn’t say a word.

Snakes

Snake Removal

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Snake removal?  I thought I was just playing with the best cat toy in the world!  The day started off mundane enough.  I slept for a long time while the family got up and ran around taking care of all of their business throughout the morning.  Then, after I’d napped for a bit, I stretched, jumped down off my cat perch, and sauntered over to the bowls of cat food and water that the family keeps filled up for me.  I ate my fill, and made one of the children open the door to let me out so I could take care of my own business outside.  When I was coming back in, though, I spied the best cat toy in the entire world on the stone walkway leading towards the backdoor.  There, basking in the warm late-morning sun, was a long snake.  All thoughts of afternoon naps flew out of my head as I crouched down and prepared for my first strike.  I have to admit, I wasn’t thinking of snake removal, just of the hunt and play that lay before me.

It didn’t realize I was even there at first.  I think it was in a stupor, enjoying the feel of the sun-warmed stone walkway.  It was almost too easy, so I took a quick swipe at it.  All I wanted to do at first was get it moving, so I could play.  It moved, all right!  Every single muscle in its thick snake body was writhing and twisting.  That snake bounced from the far side of the walkway to the wall on the other side and back again before I took another jab at it.

My second jab sent it into a further frenzy, as it desperately tried to get away.  Now, it was getting interesting.  Once it realized I wasn’t going away and there was no easy escape, it tried to strike back, coming right at my face with its fangs.  I’m a cat, so I easily avoided the attack, leaping straight up in the air and flipping over backwards.  It twisted around and struck again, getting only a mouth-full of air.  This was fun!

In the midst of this play, I noticed my family out of the corner of my eye.  They’d come out to watch the event.  I worried at first that they’d be upset and try to chase me off, or get rid of the snake.  But, instead, they just watched with their camera.  They must have thought I was the best snake removal tool in their arsenal.  I am, but first I must play.

Turning my full attention back to the snake, I noticed it had made its way back to the wall and was climbing it pretty quickly.  It must have assumed it would be safe once it reached a certain distance.  True, but I didn’t intend on it making it that far.  Leaping up, I batted it back down, and it tried to bite me again as it fell.

I took a breath and circled once more, as it coiled itself up tightly into a little snake ball.  It had realized its efforts at escaping and attacking were both futile.  But, an immobile ball of snake is no fun.  And, snake removal is so much more fun when I get to toy with it for a long time.  But, it was not to be.  Before I knew it, my family shooed me off and got rid of the snake without my help.  Well, there’s always next time.

Snakes

Snake Removal

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get rid of snakes

I’m afraid to get snake removal done until all the other pests are gone, too.  I swear, it’s been like my little farm has been plagued lately, and I don’t know how or why it started.  My family’s lived and worked this farm for five generations, now, and as far as I know, we’ve never had this kind of problem before.

Sure, it’s a farm, so we have our share of mice and other pests.  This year, for some reason, the mouse population has skyrocketed.  I’m finding mouse droppings all over the place, not just in the barn.  They’ve started coming in the house, too.  I’ve set out mouse traps, but I can only catch a few mice that way.

So, when I spotted a few larger snakes on the property, I have to say, I welcomed them at first.  I thought they’d help keep the mouse population down.  But, now, we’re dealing with more snakes than I’ve ever seen, and we’ve got to have both problems gone.  Mouse removal, then snake removal.  Simple as that.

I don’t know what kind of snakes they are, but they’re definitely bigger than the usual garden snakes we have.  The garden snakes have been great, because they eat crickets and other bugs, they shy away from people, and they just leave well enough alone.  But, these bigger snakes are a lot more bold, and I think they’ve gotten in the house, too.  I’m sure they’re just after the mice.  Since the bigger snakes showed up, we don’t have as many mice in the house, but I found some snake skins in the attic, which just horrifies me.  I guess snakes can get into the walls, and then slither up the inside of the wall all the way up into the attic.  Where else can they go?  I hate the thought of maybe stepping on one inside the bathroom or kitchen.  What if they’re poisonous?

My son went out to work in the garden the other day and lifted up a tarp, only to find three of them curled up under there.  Fortunately, none of them attacked him, and by the time he came back with a shovel to kill them, they’d all disappeared somewhere.  I’m nervous about having him work in the garden now, or even the barn, because I don’t want him bitten.

So, now, what do I do?  If I get rid of the mice, will the snakes go away?  Or, do I get snake removal service out here to get rid of the snakes, and then get feral cats to get rid of the mice?  Maybe the snake removal service will take care of the mouse problem at the same time, and our little farm will finally be pest-free for a little while.  I’d better do it quick, before something bigger and meaner shows up to eat the snakes that are eating the mice!

Snakes

Snake Problems

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Who knew you could take care of your snake problem with a wild eastern cottontail rabbit?  Crazy, right?  That’s what happened to us one Sunday morning.  We were all sitting around on the back porch, hanging out, talking, and watching the wild life in our yard.  We live on a large enough property, a few acres, and we get lots of wild animals that come through, doing their thing.  Mostly they stay clear of our house, but sometimes we have problems.

Lately, we’ve had some pretty large, but harmless snakes that have been coming around.  They’re seeing if they can get hold of some baby rabbits or some mice or some other tasty little treat.  A few years back, we found one in the kitchen.  Seems a few mice had gotten into the house and decided to nest under the sink.  It was a little while before we knew, because we were on vacation.  The mice had started to breed, and I guess a snake could hear them in there, because it crawled on in after them for dinner.  We walked in from our vacation to the Tetons to find out we had a snake problem and a mouse problem right there in our house.  Well, we got a professional wildlife control guy out who took care of our problems and cleaned the house out.  He also stopped up all of the holes we could find, and that’s pretty much worked ever since.

But, like I said, they mostly stay out in yard.  When animals cause trouble or start digging things up, we call in our professional wild animal control guy again.  But, sometimes, we just sit out on the porch and watch nature take its course.

We were doing just that when we saw a good-sized snake slithering toward a rabbit’s nest.  The eastern cottontails just dig a shallow den right on the ground and that’s where they have their babies.  This snake was just going for a tasty snack.  The next thing we know, mama rabbit jumped right on the snake!  We thought it was a one-time thing, like the rabbit didn’t know what it was doing at first.  But, again and again, it jumped at that big ol’ snake.  It must’ve bit it, too, ‘cause that snake went slithering for cover fast.

The snake must’ve thought it just needed some distance away from the baby rabbits, but mama rabbit wasn’t happy with that, either.  She just kept at it, jumping, attacking, biting until the snake got desperate.  It made it to a tree and climbed on up, the rabbit jumping higher and higher and biting until the snake got up high enough in the branches.  I didn’t ever believe it was possible for a snake to look scared, but I swear it was terrified.  Guess we won’t have much of a snake problem while that one rabbit’s out on patrol.

Snakes

Get Rid of Snakes

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get rid of snakes
Ahhh, life is good.  I’ve got people who get rid of snakes for me.  They keep me safe under this beautiful glass house, where no birds can get at me.  I have all the food and water I want, and even get plenty of cheese from time to time.  When I feel like a good run, I jump in this wheel thing and just go at it with total abandon.  Yup, life is pretty . . .

            What was that?!  A hiss?  Coming from where??  No, I couldn’t’ be.  My people got rid of the snakes, didn’t they?  Unless they didn’t plug up all the holes leading into the house. Ohhhhh, no.  It is a snake.  I kind of see it now – its ugly little head gliding along the floor, long ugly body following.  If I stay real still, it probably won’t see me.  Can’t get up here on this high table, anyway, right?  Maybe?  Perhaps if I run behind my food bowl and wheel it won’t notice me up here.

            Move along!  Nothing to eat here.  Aaaaeeeee, it knows I’m here!  And, here it comes.  Run!  BONK!  Stupid glass house.  Pant, pant, run!  BONK!  Aaargh!  What to do??  Where to hide??  Jump!  Jump!  Freeze.

            It’s closer, closer.  It’s just staring at me.  It knows I can’t run.  Just . . . can’t . . . stop . . . shaking.  I back into the corner and sit back on my hind legs, and go still.  If I have to face death, I will look it right in the eyes.

            BONK!  I shake my head and stare.  What just happened?  I grin.  Well, as much as a mouse can grin.  The stupid snake is kind of swaying a little.  He hit the glass pretty hard and I was safe inside.  Just to test my theory, I bounce a little and wiggle my nose at him.  THWAP!  That stupid snake hit his head even harder this time.  Hilarious!!  This day just went from awful to awesome.

            I shimmy on up to the glass wall, right up in front of his little beady eyes.  “You look so mad, you could just shed your skin right there.”  Okay, as taunts go, that was kind of lame, but I’m just warming up.  “Aaaah, don’t get your tail in a twist.”

            I jumped up into my running place.  “Look at me!  I’m a meal on a wheel!”  I ran even quicker.  “Now, I’m fast food!” 

            “Thank you, thank you.  I’ll be here all week – too bad you won’t be.  Try the chicken.  I mean, really, try the chicken cuz mouse ain’t on the menu.”

            Just then, my people come home.  I squeak to get their attention, and eventually the big man comes running over.  He grabbed that sucker right behind its head and got rid of that snake.  I just hope they plug up all the holes this time so he can’t get back in.  Maybe, if he does, I’ll have some new and better material next time.

Snakes

How to Get Rid of Snakes

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how to get rid of snakes
“Shhh, shh, sweetheart.  Go back to sleep, honey.”

            “But, Daddy, there’s a snake in my room, I know it.”

            I hated that I couldn’t be sure she was wrong.  My daughter had been terrified for two days ever since my wife saw a snake in our bathroom.  It was gone by the time she’d gotten me, and we didn’t know where it was, or if it was even still in the house. 

            For a while, we’d suspected something like this.  I’d found a shed snake skin in one of the downstairs closets, and we’d been hearing noises in the walls for some time now.   The rustling noise in the wall behind my bed was often loud enough to wake me up, and now we were finding evidence of a snake.  My wife described what she’d seen to me, and we were pretty sure that it wasn’t one of the couple poisonous snake.  But, I wasn’t comfortable with “pretty sure,” and the thought of a snake, even a non-venomous one, biting my wife or my daughter had me pretty upset.  It was keeping my daughter awake at night now, too.

            “Shhh, pumpkin.  Don’t worry, I’m going to get rid of the snake.” 

            “I can’t sleep, Daddy, I’m too scared.”

            “I know, I know, but you don’t need to be scared.  Mommy and Daddy are home and we are protecting you.  The snake is more scared of us and doesn’t want to hurt us.  It’s probably just here to eat mice or rats.”

            I winced.  I could’ve kicked myself.  My daughter didn’t know the rustling sound in the walls was likely a family of mice or rats, or some other creature that first attracted the snake into the house.  I knew snakes couldn’t force their way into a home.  They used holes chewed by other animals, and then just followed their food.  I’d already checked around our foundation and in our basement.  We didn’t have a nest of snakes, so far as I could tell.  It was probably just the one, chasing down a meal.  But my daughter didn’t need to know that.  Fortunately, she hadn’t picked up on my last comment.  She was more focused on staying awake to make sure the snake didn’t get her, and I assumed she had snake nightmares when she did fall asleep, poor little girl. 

            I’d searched around the house and tried to find any openings.  I’d found a few very small holes, probably made by chipmunks or mice, but I was inexperienced at this kind of thing.  It was time to find out how to get rid of snakes, and whatever else had attracted it.  I wanted my daughter to be able to easily fall asleep at night, I didn’t want my wife to be unpleasantly surprised by a live snake on the bathroom floor again, and I wanted to be able to sleep the whole night through with no rustling noises in the walls.  Time to get a professional.  Enough was enough!

Snakes

Snake Removal

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snake removal
           Most guys assume they can do snake removal themselves, but then, most guys don’t assume they’d come toe-to-face with a rattlesnake in their kitchen first thing in the morning.

            Gary woke up late in the morning, after working an extra shift the night before.  Finally, a day off, and he wasn’t going to do anything at all.  Just make some coffee, toast a waffle, and sit in front of the TV for a few hours before maybe getting around to a shower. 

            He grabbed a fairy clean t-shirt out of a pile on the floor, threw on a pair of shorts, and staggered into the kitchen, bare feet slapping on the tile floor.  He got the coffee going and grabbed a waffle out of the freezer, throwing it into the toaster oven.  Then, he saw something move out of the corner of his eye.  “What the . . .?”

            A snake’s head coming around the corner, long body slithering behind it, and then its tail rattled.

            “No freaking way!!!”

            First thing he did was get out of that kitchen.  Then, he got some shoes on, toes still curling from having been so close to a rattlesnake.  Finally, he grabbed a camera and a phone.  Took some pictures of the snake from a safe distance and called a friend to help him with snake removal.  A rattlesnake was just not the kind of thing he wanted to go at by himself.

            The snake curled itself up into a ball on the floor under a counter, rattling its warning sign non-stop.  Gary had run into a bunch of rattlesnakes last summer when hiking with a friend.  They were hiking off a mountain cross-country, not caring much for the marked trail, and started jumping down the slope, leaping from rock to rock.  He jumped on a rock and the sound of ten to twelve snakes rattling stopped him cold.  Right under his feet was a whole nest of ‘em, and they weren’t happy he was standing right above them.  He got off of that rock pretty quick and out of danger, but now one of their kind was curled up in his kitchen, and he just wasn’t okay with that.

            His friend showed up ready for snake removal, grabbing a makeshift snake-catcher out of the back of his truck.  Gary decided the best thing he could do to help was to just video the whole thing, stay out of the way.  Before long, the rattler was caught, stuffed in a garbage can, and in the back of his friend’s truck.  They headed out to release it on that same mountain they’d hiked the summer before. 

            For two weeks after, the first thing Gary did when he woke up in the morning was get some shoes on his feet before going into the kitchen for breakfast.