A Bird’s Barrage

I have never had a mortal enemy before, I have never truly hated anyone or anything.  Until now; now I know what it is to loathe.  This will sound crazy, but there’s a bird that lives in a tree on campus that has it out for me.  Don’t laugh and don’t stop reading, give me a chance to explain what has been happening.  I’m not the only student that feels this way, and it’s not just students, either!  I’ve seen teachers attacked before, too.  This is the Freddy Krueger of birds.

She moved onto campus about two weeks ago.  It could have been sooner but that was when I noticed her.  She didn’t start terrorizing anyone until last week.  I think that she moved in, build a nest, laid eggs, and is now on constant alert.  I don’t really blame her for that because I would protect my kids from crazy high school students, too, but she really takes it a step too far.  From the second I step off the bus, I have to keep my eyes peeled.  There hasn’t been a morning yet when she hasn’t dived at someone that was trying to get into the school, and she hits with full force.  It’s not like it’s a scare tactic, she doesn’t just swoop down and fly away.  She comes down, talons bared, and will literally grab you by the hair.  It’s a nightmare.

Whenever we take it to the administration, they tell us that the school board is handling it, but I think that they like it.  They give us tests right after holiday breaks, why not release a demon bird on the student body? All I know is that I am just about ready to catch this bird myself.  Now that I think about it, I could relocate it to the principal’s office. Senior Prank anyone?

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