Chasing a skunk out of my house was NOT what I wanted to do today. They say the universe sends you what you need to grow and be the better you, but I think this was stretching it. The all-knowing universe couldn’t have picked a bunny or a cat or something? Apparently I needed the world’s smelliest creature to help me achieve my ‘destiny’. Enough complaining about the universe, let me tell you what happened.
As the sun went down last night, I sat out in the lawn enjoying the cool air and the smell of the incoming rainstorm while reading the classic tale of love, loss, and sacrifice. Okay, it was Twilight, but don’t judge. As I sat there believing with all of my soul that the day was going to end as perfectly as it had started, I heard a noise on the deck behind me. I turned around and screamed at the skunk that stood by my open door. A mistake on my part, I guess, because that scream chased the skunk into my house. This, obviously only made me scream louder.
Well, being the hardcore woman that I am, I called my brother to come help me get the skunk out of my house- mostly just to do it himself, but I figured I could stand outside and shout encouragement or shine a flashlight or something. Once he arrived and I had pinpointed the skunk’s location (from outside the window in my living room), we planned our attack. I had to offer up my VCR copies of Singing in the Rain and White Christmas to get him to go in alone, but eventually we agreed that I would stand outside an open window with a flashlight while he chased the skunk out of my house with a modified broom.
Going full Tom Cruise in his Mission Impossible, my brother crept across the living room with his new skunk removal stick. I pointed to the corner where the animal was huddled and he began to make noise behind the skunk. After what seemed like hours of slowly herding the skunk towards the door, he finally ran back out the door that he came in through. I let out a whoop of excitement as my brother collapsed onto the couch. We had done it, we had gotten the skunk out of my house. After handing over the movies and sending my brother off, I laid happily in bed. I guess the universe didn’t really curse me after all, but don’t tell it that or it might send a badger or something next week.