Woodpecker Removal

woodpecker removal
When will my people finally DO something and call a woodpecker removal service???  As a cat, I own this place.  I know all the best napping spots, the warmest windows to sit in, and exactly how to annoy the dog.  It is most upsetting to hear this constant tap-tap-tapping on the roof, on the walls.  That noise invades my beautiful dreams of chasing bubbles and nibbling cat nip. 

            You cannot imagine how crazy I get, staring out the window at the source of that awful noise.  There it is, a beautiful big bird, a woodpecker, listening to the scrabblings of spiders in the walls and taking out little notches from the house.  I chatter and try to climb the window, but the bird doesn’t even care.  It just goes about its business like I’m not even there.  If only I could get outside and climb that wall!

            It is definitely time to get some woodpecker removal people out here.  Even the stupid dog is starting to go crazy.  Admittedly, it’s fun to watch him jump and bark at the ceiling.  He runs around in circles, ears laid back, yipping and whining.  Sometimes his barks even scare the bird away long enough for me to settle back down and close my eyes for a bit.  But, then, that annoying scrabble as the woodpecker lands on the house again, the tip-tap-tip-tap starts up, and then he goes at it in earnest.  TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP!!  Really, how is a cat supposed to stretch, quietly knead the blankets on the bed, yawn and sleep when this racket is going on? 

            And, I doubt my people have even thought of what could happen next.  Never mind the awful noise, and the smelly bird droppings.  The holes in the house will probably be a pain to fix, but they’d better fix them, because those holes will let in all sorts of other creatures.  Spiders, bugs, squirrels, mice . . . wait a minute!  Hmmm, if some of THOSE get in here, tasty, tasty meals await me!  Ah, the thrill of chasing a mouse from room to room, catching it, letting it go and run through the children’s room with whatever diseases it’s carrying, catching it again, toying with it before I finally chomp down on the delicious little creature . . .

            On second thought, I really hope my people don’t get around to woodpecker removal.  Those holes the woodpecker leaves behind could really work out in my favor!