Tag Archives: rat removal

Rat Droppings

Rat droppings just do not belong in your office’s break room.  I work in a typical office, filled with cubicles littered with pictures that remind each employee why they’re working so hard to bring in a paycheck.  Some hours of the day are fairly quiet, the sound of keyboards clacking and phones ringing fill the air.  Some hours of the day are pretty noisy, as co-workers socialize briefly before passing files onto someone else and sit back down to a fresh stack of their own.  Occasionally, someone tells a pretty raucous joke, or a highly-entertaining story about the weekend, and laughter circulates.  Certain days of the month are more stressful, when business normally picks up and deadlines loom.  Those are the days when people are more likely to snap at each other or pick up an old bickering conversation.  But, most of the time, it’s not a bad way to spend the days, weeks and months in order to pay for homes, cars, groceries and occasional vacations.

Our office doesn’t have an office administrator or office manager.  We’re all expected to keep our workstations clean and pick up after ourselves.  But, when there’s something bigger that needs to be repaired or maintained, the unspoken rule of the office is:  The person who complains is the person who maintains.  So, everyone pretends they don’t notice the air conditioning is broken so they don’t have to be the one to contact the repairman, oversee the work, and submit the paperwork.  Eyes are averted when the office refrigerator is opened, because no one wants to be the one to admit it really needs to be cleaned out.

I just about gagged when I noticed rat droppings in the break room, though.  It was impossible that the three other people who previously occupied the room failed to notice the black, round pellets scattered across the floor and one of the countertops.  I faced a dilemma.  Do I turn a blind eye, and tell myself that someone must have spilled their raisins?  Do I break out the gloves and cleaner and pick up the mess, keeping silent about the problem?  Or, do I take the proverbial bull by the horns, and take on the responsibility for getting a rat exterminator out to the office, getting nothing but paperwork and hassle for my effort?  The boss would probably also make me send an email around to my co-workers letting them know we have now attracted rats to the building, and making them empty food out of their desk drawers.  Yeah, that’d make me real popular.

But, rat droppings!  You can’t just let that slide by and hope the problem goes away.  Rats could be scurrying all through the walls right now, waiting for us to turn off the light so they can scamper out and run all over our desks, spreading diseases and filth.

I sighed as I realized I couldn’t just leave rat droppings in the break room, nor could I ignore the rat problem.  I definitely needed a raise, though!

Rat Problems

Dear Health Inspector:

I am writing in to file a formal complaint about rat problems in a commercial building on Main Street.  I have leased space in this building for the past 6 months, and I have a three-year contract with the owners, but over the last few months we have had increasing problems with rats.  I run a gym, and we don’t serve or sell any food on the premises, so I don’t know what attracted the rats in the first place.  I am starting to lose business and revenue.  The owners say there wasn’t a rat problem when I moved into the space, so it is up to me as the tenant to take care of the problem.  I don’t have any way of proving their claim one way or another, but I don’t know where to even start with getting rid of the rats and getting my business cleaned up.

The building across the street had a rats nest underneath their stairs, so they knocked the stairs down and got rid of the nest, and I suspect that’s what started the problem in my building.  I started noticing holes near the front door and at the corner of the building right by a ground-floor window, but the noises coming from the ceiling indicate there may be rats living up there, too.  I set out a few traps and caught some rats in my office.  I thought I was fortunate that no rats were out among the customers or in the locker room.

Since then, though, I’ve been getting complaints from people working out at my gym.  There’s a horrible smell of rat urine in the men’s bathroom, and I found out that each rat defecates about 60 times a day.  If that gets into the air vents, then that’s what I’m breathing, that’s what my employees and clients are breathing.  A couple of days ago, one of the trainers that works at the gym told me he saw a rat run across the main floor.  I felt I had to temporarily close the gym.  I’m afraid someone will get really sick, or bitten.

Now, I’m fighting with the owners of the building to come in and at least partially pay to get rid of the rat problem.  Sometimes they tell me that there was just one rat and I’m making a big deal out of nothing, and sometimes they tell me that I’m responsible for paying for the whole thing.  I’m losing revenue quickly and I’m afraid my clients will go to another gym.  Will you please come out to inspect the building so I can prove to the owners that there really is a rat problem?  I’m also getting bids from professional wildlife removal companies to take care of the problem so I can reopen my doors as soon as possible.  Thank you for your help.

How To Get Rid Of Rats

Rat staring at a rat trap
Rat, staring at a rat trap.
(Artwork by Sharon Davis. Contact us for her contact info.)

The school’s assembly hall was deafening and packed with parents all talking about one thing – how to get rid of the rats in the school.  The elementary school’s principal was beside herself trying to get order to start the meeting.  She’d been dreading this meeting all day, but counted herself lucky that she didn’t have to lead the discussion.  That was going to be up to the school board.

“Please, please, everyone, sit down.  All of your questions and concerns will be answered as soon as we can start,” she repeated over and over again into the microphone.  Eventually, conversations died down enough for her voice to be heard, and parents reluctantly sat.  It was easier to bring order to an assembly of their children, the principal thought to herself.

“Now, I know you’re all concerned about reports of rats in the school . . .” she tried to start, but was quickly interrupted.

“My son saw one in the vent in his classroom!” called out one mother.

“I heard some rats fell from the ceiling in the cafeteria,” one man said.

“. . . and that is what we are here to address tonight,” the principal continued.  “Some reports are false, some have been exaggerated, but it is true that we have found a rat and a littler in our courtyard.  The school board and I are here to dispel rumors, explain the truth, and inform you all what measures are being taken.”

She turned to let one of the school board members take over, but no one volunteered to step up to the podium.  Squaring her shoulders, she turned back to the microphone and explained, “While it is true that some rats were found in our vents a few months ago, you are all aware that held a meeting to discuss how to get rid of rats in the school, and determined the county’s school landscaper and our own ground crew would work over a weekend to exterminate the rats.   It was thought that the rats were all removed, but a recent sighting of a rat with her litter in the courtyard has reopened the issue.”

She was interrupted by many people, all calling out questions or yelling about their children’s safety.  Frankly, she was surprised they’d allowed her to get this far before interrupting her.

“I want to assure all of you that your children’s safety is just as important to me and to the school board as it is to you.  I am well aware of the health risks of rats – the parasites and insects they can carry, the fact they could contaminate food in our cafeteria and they bite.  I don’t want any of your children or our teachers exposed to such risk.  That is why we are taking much greater measures to ensure everyone’s safety and health.  There is no question about how to get rid of the rats, we have hired a professional wildlife removal company to take care of the problem, and the school will be closed this coming Monday to allow them to do their job.”

Having had her say, she still faced a flurry of questions and exclamations, but at least parents were a little calmer now.  She’d done everything she could and, really, they were all on the same page.  No one wanted rats in the school.

Get Rid of Rats

get rid of rats   
         “In an effort to get rid of rats in the dormitories, we require all students’ food be kept in the kitchens.  The kitchens will remain open at all times to allow you access to your food.”

            The sign was posted on both ends of every floor of the dorms.  “Dude, you can’t let L’il Debbie stay the night anymore,” Mark joked, pointing at Clayton’s stash of snack cakes. 

            “I’m so gonna miss her,” Clayton said, some chocolate crumbs still sticking on the corner his lips.  He wasn’t a small guy.

            “So, seriously, why can’t we keep food in our rooms anymore?  They say they’re going to check us to make sure we don’t have anything.”  Mark was kind of annoyed about it, really.  Finals were coming and he was facing a few all-nighters.  He really hadn’t attended all his classes as much as he should have, but had to have good grades to keep his scholarship.  He was hoping caffeine-laced soda and sugary snacks would magically keep him alert enough to cram as much information into his brain as possible.

            “I bet one of the girls saw a tiny little mouse outside in the garden and blew it all out of proportion,” Nick said.  His girlfriend had just broken up with him, so he didn’t have a real high opinion of the ladies at the moment.

            But, the boys all complied with the order to help get rid of rats by taking all their food out of their dorm rooms and into the communal kitchen.

            That night, Mark needed some brain-aid food, so he made his way down to the kitchen, where he ran into Nick and Clayton and a couple of the girls.  He said “hi” and listened to their conversation as he reached into the cabinet to pull out some snacks.  Something furry brushed his hand.

            “What the AAAAAAAA!” he screamed.  Everyone jumped and stared at him.  “There’s something in there!”  He kept shaking his hand as if it would help him forget the feeling of that coarse hair on his skin.

            Everyone jumped up and crowded around the cabinet.  “That’s rat poop all over there, dude.  It’s all over the food.”  One of the girls groaned and ran over to the sink to spit out whatever she’d been eating, washing her mouth out as much as she could.  “I’m gonna be sick,” said the other girl.

            Clayton grabbed up his phone.  “Put the phone in there, I’m filming.  Let’s see if we can get it on camera.”  Nick was a little less squeamish than the others, so he took the phone and maneuvered it into the cabinet.  Sure enough, there it was.  A small rat.  But, it made them wonder if there were more. 

            Mark said, “Sooo, we got rid of rats from the dorms and now they’re in the kitchen?  I think I’d rather have rats in the dorms!”

Rat Removal

rat removal
What is it about rat removal that makes us humans squeal and squeak like rats ourselves?  One couple had glimpses of a furry body and long tail every now and then, and were determined they would rid their house of the rat.  Rats can have up to 200 offspring in two years, so they could not wait to get the little beastie out of their house!  Determining to corner the creature and get it out of the house is a much braver endeavor than the actual act, however.  They plotted and schemed how to go about the rat removal in normal voices, bravely figuring how they would do it.

When they were reasonably certain the rat was in their bathroom, they would block off the room with a toddler gate, and the man would enter the bathroom with a box and a broom.  Everyone nodded.  This was a good plan.

Rat nibbling on a ladle.
Rat nibbling on a kitchen ladle.
(Artwork by Sharon Davis. Contact us for her contact info.)

A tail was spotted from behind a decorative box on the floor.  Go-time!  The room was blocked off, the box and broom were in hand, and the man stalked into the room.

“EEEEEEEAAAAAA” The woman squealed in a voice only her dog could hear.  “I see it I see it I see it!”

“What, where?”

“I see the tail, I see the tail, right where I saw it before!”

The man tentatively pokes at the decorative box with his broom and the rat leaps out into open view for a second before scurrying to find another hiding place.  “OOOAAAAA, it’s moving!”

In response, the man pokes about with his broom.  The rat flees to the other side of the bathroom.

“EEEEEE, Oh, oh, oh, oh!!”

More poking around with the broom.

“AAAA, he’s jumping, he’s jumping!”

The man wonders just how helpful his wife is, squealing and screaming like that.  She squeaks out a string of expletives before finally crying out, “Holy crap!” as the dog looks at her as if to say, “It’s just a rat.”

The man grabs his trusty box, and, leaning in as far as he dares into the bathroom, drops it squarely on the rat.  Then, just to make sure, he uses the broom to lift the box back up.  Of course, the rat runs out to freedom, as the woman screeches again.  This is not an easy rat removal, but it is a loud one!

Finally, the man is able to drop the box on the rat again, but only then realizes the box is not taped together, and the rat will likely be able to jump right out.

“It’s structurally unsound!” the woman squeals.  She’s been impossible to understand until now, but she uses the term structurally unsound?  The man sighs and places the broom on top of the box in the hopes that it will keep the rat squarely inside until he arrives back on the scene with duct tape.  At least, he can look back on the incident with dignity, having refrained from screaming and sounding like . . . well, his wife.