The Throne, the Oval Office, the Porcelain Potty. Known by many names, the Toilet. For many people it’s a place of refuge. Somewhere to hide from your kids, read a good magazine, and enjoy regular bowel movements. It’s always been a place for me to do what I need to do and not be bothered. It’s a safe place. Somewhere I knew I wouldn’t be disturbed. Alas, how the times change. It was one of those days, those days when you’re walking on air, nothing can get you down! I had just gotten a promotion at work, I had gotten a free taco for lunch, and the girl of my dreams had just accepted my invitation to go get some dinner later. I was planning on stopping at home to freshen up before heading out to go pick her up.
I waltzed into the bathroom with thoughts of the first date with my dream girl floating through my head. I kicked off my shoes and began to shimmy out of my khaki trousers. I was just about to sit down when I heard the most terrifying noise. *SKREECH SKREECH* I jumped up alarmed, and whirled around to find my worst fears. For sitting in my pristine toilet bowl was none other than a large, black, hairy rat! I screamed and ran out of the bathroom. I wasn’t going to be needing it anymore (if you know what I mean). I bee- lined it to my phone and punched in the number for the pest control company I had relied on in the past.
My heroes in shining overalls were there within the hour to take care of my misfortune. They explained to me that the rat had probably swam up my sewer system and right into my toilet bowl. They assured me that they would take care of the rat and that they’d be here in a jiffy if I ever found one again. It took me quite a while to come to terms with what had happened. I had nightmares for weeks on end about that FILTHY rat. Lucky for me, the worst was over. I Hoped…
Tag Archives: get rid of rat
Dirty Rat
We’ve tried everything to get rid of the raccoons in the attic, but at this point it seems impossible. They’ve been there for what, a couple of months now? I can’t pinpoint an exact time because we actually didn’t know they were there until a month or so ago, which is when we first saw the mother raccoon go into the attic. Before that, we just heard the occasional bumps and creaks that we gave the old house credit for. We would have been none the wiser if our neighbor’s cat hadn’t gotten into a tiff with the raccoon, leaving us to investigate the commotion and catch the raccoon crawling through a gap in the soffit.
After that we listened carefully to the sounds from above the ceiling, and it became fairly clear to us that there was more than just one raccoon in the attic, she had babies, so we started to do our research. Anything we could think of we looked up: how to get rid of raccoons in the attic, trapping raccoons, the most effective raccoon removal methods; all of it. After we made a list of possible solutions, we started to check them off one at a time. We turned the lights on in the attic, we started playing loud music during the day when we were gone, we set traps outside where we thought we might catch the mother, and we even put ammonia soaked rags up there with a fan to blow the smell around. We took every step possible, and we thought it had worked.
Not long after we had started harassing the raccoons, I saw the mother leave the attic with what looked like a baby in her mouth. We were ecstatic! After we celebrated for a minute, my husband went out and sealed off the gap we saw her entering and exiting through. We went to bed happy that night, thinking all was well. Of course, happy endings are for fairy tales and the next night the raccoon came back, tore the soffit open again, and has been hiding out there for the last 4 days (she hasn’t left once). We can’t hear any babies anymore, but we don’t know what she’s doing up there and we have nothing left to try. Please, we need some serious help to get rid of the raccoon in our attic, I can’t keep doing this.
Rat in Window Well
“Mom! Mom! There’s a rat in the window!” Not exactly what a mother wants to hear while she’s busy cooking, feeding a baby in a high chair, and caller ID says her mother-in-law wants to chat. Once again, just when a parent feels everything’s under control, something happens to bring everything to a screeching halt and toss chaos back into the mix.
Sighing and slightly freaked, this busy mom turned off the burner, checked the oven, made sure baby was secure and had enough on the tray to keep her occupied for a moment, and headed outside to face whatever nature had in store. Sure enough, her three children and a couple of neighborhood kids she didn’t even know were in her backyard were gathered around the window well that led into her basement office. They weren’t just gathered, they were actively prodding whatever it was with sticks. Sticks were confiscated, and nerves were steeled as she looked down. A large rat lay dead in the window well, amongst the rocks and debris the children had tossed down there over the summer. It looked like it may have died of natural causes, and a while ago, judging by the degree of decay.
This wasn’t the first time this had happened. A few years prior, a skunk had fallen in the window well and couldn’t get out. She had tried for a while to tempt it out, by putting a long piece of wood from the shed down in there, hoping it would climb back out. It just scared it and the skunk almost sprayed in the window well, which would surely have resulted in a horrible smell throughout the basement, if not the whole house. Fortunately, she ended up calling Allstate Animal Control, and they got the skunk out of the window well. That was the year they got the metal grate coverings. Apparently, the openings were wide enough to let a rat fall down in there and breathe its last.
Mom quickly assessed the situation and got everyone moving: dead rat in the window well should be removed as soon as possible so it wouldn’t bring smells and bugs into the yard and house, neighbor kids were sent home, her children were sent inside to wash up and finish feeding baby, while she finished cooking dinner and called for dead animal removal. She had enough to deal with. The thought of crawling down in the window well to remove a dead rat was just not on her to-do list, and she knew Allstate Animal Control would take care of it soon enough.
She allowed herself a quick, satisfied smile, knowing that once again she’d successfully dealt with yet another problem. Then, she heard a crash from the kitchen and knew it was going to be a long night.