I have a pigeon problem, thanks to my overly generous, grandmotherly neighbor. Now I’m not saying that she isn’t sweet or caring, I’m just saying that she puts animals over people frequently.  If you ask her to feed your cat over the weekend while you go on a business trip, she will skip with joy; but, if you ask to borrow some sugar or eggs, she will not do so happily.  Needless to say, my needs and comfort are far from her mind when it comes to these birds.  As a spinster with no husband and no children (or at least none that I’ve ever seen), she has adopted these pigeons as her God-given kids.

This wasn’t that big of a deal at first, mostly because it didn’t start with pigeons; she just kept a small bird feeder in her backyard for the small birds that came and went.  Over the years she’s collected more and more, and it was just three months ago that the pigeon problem started.  You know how in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone all of the owls surround the Dursley’s house trying to get Harry his letter? Well, take the letters out of the scene and BINGO that is what her house looked like after a month or so.  She fed one and they just kept coming! And before I knew it they were starting to roost on my roof and make an awful mess!

I’ve tried talking to her and asking her to stop feeding the birds to see if just maybe they’ll leave, but like I said these are her kids and it doesn’t seem like there’s any way to get her to agree to that one. I believe her exact words when I asked if she would be willing to stop feeding the birds were, “you selfish little woman, can’t you just put your own needs aside for one minute to appreciate what’s happening here?” I’m not joking, that’s almost verbatim for what she said.   I know I can’t force her to stop feeding them and I can’t hire someone to get them off her property, but if someone could help me control the birds on my property I’d be very grateful!