Birds in the Office

When I took this job, I guess I didn’t know exactly what I was in for. My first day, I discovered that there were birds in the ceiling! It might not be that big of a deal if it wasn’t a desk job.  Meaning I just sit there and listen to those birds chirp and chirp and chirp for hours on end!  It’s unbelievable.  I knew this job would have its quirks, all jobs do; I just didn’t know that quirks and chirps were synonyms. I love birds, don’t get me wrong, I just think that they belong outside and not in the ceiling tiles over my head!

You might think that I’m overreacting, saying to yourself that having birds in the ceiling can’t be that bad.  If you’re thinking that I could just use headphones to drown out the sound and not pay attention to them, you’re right, I could.  The problem with that, is that you don’t know the entire story.  It’s not just the chirping, there have been incidents with the birds outside of the ceiling tiles!  Just last week one flew down through the office and perched in a small, fake tree we have by the door. The week before that I came into the office ready for the day only to find three birds and a pile of poop on my desk!  It is getting out of hand, and I’ve just about had it.

Trying to focus in an open office can be hard enough, no one asked for these birds in our ceiling, or at least I didn’t. It’s distracting me from my work, its sending my anxiety over the edge, and it’s really ruining my love of birds. The owners are calling someone in to take a look and try and get rid of them, but I’m not sure I can wait that long.  I love this job, I hate these birds.  It’s hard enough to focus when you’re in an open floor office without cubicles let alone when you’re always on edge just waiting for a pterodactyl to swoop down and tear out your hair! Okay, I’m exaggerating now, but I’m not kidding about the hair.  A woman just down the row from me was at her desk last week, eating her lunch, having a great day when BOOM, a bird landed right on her head and started pecking at her face! You can’t tell me that I’m overreacting or that this isn’t getting out of hand.  I pay good money to rent this space, they need to put good money into getting these birds out of the ceiling, out of the office, and out of my life!

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