How do you get rid of woodpeckers when your home is under attack by a woodpecker with an anger management problem? Look, these nice people and I have an understanding. They provide me with a hollow box with an opening just big enough for me to get in and out of, and a protected space inside that is perfect for my nest. The hole is too small for most predators like larger birds or squirrels to steal my eggs, I’m safe from the wind and rain, and when my babies hatch, they can peep out of the opening and wait for my return with juicy worms. In return, I give the people a nice nature show, since they like to carefully ooh and aaah over my eggs and watch me jump and leap and fly. Occasionally, they even sweeten the deal with some delicious bird seed they throw outside.
It’s been absolutely wonderful, until this crazy bird came around. Now I have to worry about how to get rid of woodpeckers. For some reason, it thinks that it should live in my bird house, just because it’s bigger or flashier or has a harder beak than me. Those aren’t good enough reasons! I was here first. Plus, these people want me here, not some stupid woodpecker.
But, it’s going absolutely nutso on me. It’s pounding on the walls and the ceiling, and I have to keep on my toes to keep from getting skewered. Really! Won’t these people do anything to get rid of woodpeckers? If they want me around so much, they need to make sure I stay alive long enough to lay eggs. It’s just a big bully.
I think it must have overheard me telling someone about my wonderful nesting site. I didn’t mean to brag about it. It’s just so exciting to have found a safe and easy place in which to build my nest. Now, I can just spend my time looking for soft building materials and eating as many grubs and worms as I can find instead of wasting all my energy flitting from one site to the next, hoping to build a home there.
The woodpecker must have followed me back, though, because, no sooner did I get home with some excellent twine to add to my nest than the pounding and pecking and hammering began. As if the noise isn’t bad enough here inside my hollow box, every time I stick my head up, the woodpecker’s beak nearly skewers me. And, now I’m trapped inside. I can’t get out, because there is no let-up in its frenzied attack. It just keeps going at me and at my box. Does this woodpecker just want me to die of fright so it can get me out of here and come in? I doubt she can even fit inside the hole. At least I hope she can’t.
Why, oh, why won’t these people get rid of this woodpecker? If it ever leaves, I may have to leave and find a more secret and safer site, and then they won’t have any sweet little baby birds to watch as they hatch and learn how to fly. Serves them right!