I have so many wildlife problems, I don’t know where to start.  The most recent is the skunk problem, which started around two weeks ago.  Surprisingly that one is the least problematic, I mean yeah it stinks (literally), but it causes less damage than the others.  But, no matter what it still stinks so I need to have it taken care of.  I think they’re burrowing underneath my porch, and I don’t even know how many there actually are whether it’s one or five or more!  It really doesn’t matter how many, because I need them to vacate the premises ASAP.

The next wildlife problem is the raccoons; this one is the second most costly issue.   A mother and her four babies have decided that the overhang of my deck is the best place to shack up.  Not only is it inconvenient and probably hazardous, but it can be scary, too.  When you walk out the backdoor onto the deck, the mother goes crazy above you; she’ll hiss and scratch and the babies will mew, it’s very aggravating.  This is also a more recent issue, the raccoons started just before the skunk, but my biggest problem started WAY before that.

Woodpeckers.  Not that bad? Try again.  Woodpecker holes aren’t just used by woodpeckers.  Apparently smaller birds, rats, squirrels, and even bats will use the woodpecker holes as homes; and I have seen all of the animals I just mentioned inside of at least one woodpecker hole on my house.  This has been happening for months, and no matter what DIY method I find on the internet to get the woodpecker to go away, it just keeps right on pecking.  I am so over it, all of it.  I’m sick of the skunks, the raccoons, the birds – I’m sick of the whole lot of them.  SOMEONE HELP ME!!!