Tag Archives: woodpecker control

Woodpecker Control

I own several office buildings in and around this area, and I’ve noticed that one of my buildings needs some woodpecker control.

In my line of work, my office gets calls all the time for various building maintenance needs.  Office managers, company owners or even employees of the companies that rent various office space from me will call about anything from a leaky toilet to a malfunctioning light switch.  I get complaints that their customers don’t like the heaviness of the doors, or employees are too hot in the afternoon, or the sprinkler system for the landscaping isn’t working properly.  Some of these calls are silly nonsense, most of them are minor and easily handled, but some are pretty major.

When three different tenants from one of my buildings called, I paid attention.  One of my top-floor tenants had a few employees complaining about tapping and noises coming from the wall.  Another tenant said he’d noticed a woodpecker clutching the side of the building and “going to town” on the stucco.  Another tenant mentioned the ugly holes that had started appearing on the side of the building.

I went there myself to investigate, and sure enough, we needed woodpecker control.  From the front of the building, I could easily see a few holes in the stucco, and some of them had large red streaks of woodpecker droppings staining the façade.  Around the side of the building, I saw a much larger, gaping hole close to the roof.  I couldn’t believe it.  It was large enough that a medium-sized dog could crawl through it into the building . . . of course, the dog would have to crawl up the side of the three-story building to get there, but you know what I mean.  I heard raccoons can easily get up to the roof of a building, and wondered if we had raccoon problems in addition to the woodpecker.

But, one thing at a time.  I whipped out my cell phone and got my secretary on the line.  I told him he needed to get a really good woodpecker control service out to this office building, and to make sure it was a service that would get rid of the woodpeckers, clean up the mess, repair the holes, and look for signs of raccoons while they were at it.

Within fifteen minutes, I got a call back from my secretary telling me that he got Allstate Animal Control to send someone out and inspect the damage and give us a quote.  I went inside the building and talked with the owners of the companies renting space from me.  I reassured them that the woodpecker control was, well, under control.  Of course, then I had to sit and listen to a laundry-list of other complaints.  I’ll take care of the woodpecker control first, and then I’ll worry about the type of flowers planted out front.  Sheesh.

Box Elder County Exterminator

We gotta get the Box Elder County Exterminator out to our ranch here pronto, because I am sick to death of replacing fence posts.  I got enough to do around here.  Every day I work myself to exhaustion and every night I go to bed thinking of fifty more things I need to do the next day.  It’s fine, it’s the life I chose.  I’m happy that I’m working for myself and not dependant on anyone else for a paycheck.  But, when I find woodpecker holes in fence post after fence post, I have to spend my days chasing down woodpeckers and replacing those posts.  I have better things to do, and I’m no expert on which woodpeckers are protected by federal or state laws and how to get rid of woodpeckers.  The Box Elder County exterminator is, though, and I’ll let him deal with it.

I’ve been dealing with this woodpecker problem for a few years now.  I guess what finally sent me over the edge was this morning.  The ranch hasn’t been doing so well lately.  We’ve been dealing with sick cattle, a fight over mineral rights in one of our pastures, and the price of feed has skyrocketed.  High cost of feed means my prices have to go up.  High price of oil means it costs more to transport the cattle and the feed, which means I have to raise my prices again.  Now, meat prices are so high that consumers aren’t buying as much of my products as they used to, which leaves me up the proverbial creek without the proverbial paddle.  What’m I supposed to do?

So, one night I’m up late worrying over it, as usual, and I fall asleep after a rough day of work and worry.  I’d decided to let myself sleep in a bit the next morning, let myself get a little extra rest so I can tackle the problem fresh.  But, real early next morning, I hear the tap tap tap, peck peck peck of the stupid woodpeckers chipping away at the fence posts again.  I just spent last Thursday replacing some of the older posts that looked like swiss cheese, and here was this bird going at it on one of the newer stretches I finished.

I consider myself a reasonable, fair-minded person.  Live and let live.  Let nature do its thing.  But, I just lost it that day.  Got so mad I grabbed the gun.  My wife caught me before I headed out the door, though, and reasoned that the woodpecker is probably protected, and shooting at the bird on the fence post would probably just do more damage to the fence post I was trying to protect.  So, I gave in, grumbling, and tried to enjoy the huge and delicious breakfast my wife had prepared for us.  Every time that tapping started up again, my knuckles would go white and my shoulders would get all hunched.  Finally, my wife just turned on some music so I couldn’t get annoyed at the birds anymore.

Time to call the Box Elder County exterminator. I figure, even though times are tight, it would save me a lot of time and money, not to mention keeping me from getting too angry to see straight, if I just got a professional out here.

Get Rid of Woodpeckers

woodpecker removal

How do you get rid of woodpeckers when your home is under attack by a woodpecker with an anger management problem?  Look, these nice people and I have an understanding.  They provide me with a hollow box with an opening just big enough for me to get in and out of, and a protected space inside that is perfect for my nest.  The hole is too small for most predators like larger birds or squirrels to steal my eggs, I’m safe from the wind and rain, and when my babies hatch, they can peep out of the opening and wait for my return with juicy worms.  In return, I give the people a nice nature show, since they like to carefully ooh and aaah over my eggs and watch me jump and leap and fly.  Occasionally, they even sweeten the deal with some delicious bird seed they throw outside.

It’s been absolutely wonderful, until this crazy bird came around.  Now I have to worry about how to get rid of woodpeckers.  For some reason, it thinks that it should live in my bird house, just because it’s bigger or flashier or has a harder beak than me.  Those aren’t good enough reasons!  I was here first.  Plus, these people want me here, not some stupid woodpecker.

But, it’s going absolutely nutso on me.  It’s pounding on the walls and the ceiling, and I have to keep on my toes to keep from getting skewered.  Really!  Won’t these people do anything to get rid of woodpeckers?  If they want me around so much, they need to make sure I stay alive long enough to lay eggs.  It’s just a big bully.

I think it must have overheard me telling someone about my wonderful nesting site.  I didn’t mean to brag about it.  It’s just so exciting to have found a safe and easy place in which to build my nest.  Now, I can just spend my time looking for soft building materials and eating as many grubs and worms as I can find instead of wasting all my energy flitting from one site to the next, hoping to build a home there.

The woodpecker must have followed me back, though, because, no sooner did I get home with some excellent twine to add to my nest than the pounding and pecking and hammering began.  As if the noise isn’t bad enough here inside my hollow box, every time I stick my head up, the woodpecker’s beak nearly skewers me.  And, now I’m trapped inside.  I can’t get out, because there is no let-up in its frenzied attack.  It just keeps going at me and at my box.  Does this woodpecker just want me to die of fright so it can get me out of here and come in?  I doubt she can even fit inside the hole.  At least I hope she can’t.

Why, oh, why won’t these people get rid of this woodpecker?  If it ever leaves, I may have to leave and find a more secret and safer site, and then they won’t have any sweet little baby birds to watch as they hatch and learn how to fly.  Serves them right!

Woodpecker Control

I am so very clever to have outwitted a cat, that surely no woodpecker control will work on my superior bird mind.  Here I am, roosting just within the cat’s reach.  I flaunt my amazing abilities directly in the feline face.

It began so innocently, before I was even aware a cat lived here.  Woodpeckers, just like me, were searching for the most ideal place to nest and feast.  Some stuck to the woods, more secure in the tried and true tree trunks.  Some drummed high up off the ground, on building roofs, tentatively tapping on the very top of buildings to find a safe place to open up a hole and nest inside.  But, me, I love adventure.  I love a thrill.  I love to see just how far I can go, and then go a little further.  There is no woodpecker control where I am concerned.  I just am, and everyone else must deal with it.

I flew right under a porch, testing out each support beam until I found one with a pleasing enough hollow sound.  But, oh, so clever little me, I chose the perfect little spot to tear into right at the base of that beam.  With a sharp eye out for any predators, I used my elegant and wonderfully sharp and hard beak to open up a tiny crack.  Then, I peered inside to make sure my instincts were correct.  Oh, yes, it was perfectly safe inside.  With persistent tapping, I created a hole barely large enough to allow my little bird body inside.  And, then, I crawled inside and explored my new home.  Just as I thought, it was absolutely perfect for me.  Dry, warm enough, with a small enough hole to protect me and my young ones from most tenacious predators.  That is, if the predators were daring or even smart enough to pursue us, which I highly doubted.  The genius of it was, I could build my nest up high enough inside to fully protect the little woodpeckers, and if any predator stuck a paw inside, I could just retreat even higher into the hollow beam, and stay completely safe.

That’s when I found out about the cat.  It just makes me want to laugh.  They thought that stupid feline was good at woodpecker control?  Please.  It took a day before it even discovered my presence.  Even then, it was so confused about what to do with a bird that was so daring as to build the opening to its nest so close to the ground.  For another half-day, all it could do was sniff around, and try to put its scent on the beam.  As if that would make me leave.  I felt so daring around this dumb animal that I would even stick my head out of the hole when it was right there, and it didn’t do a darn thing!

No, these humans are going to have to do better than a cat to get rid of me.  Woodpecker control, indeed.