I’ve never been good at yard work, so I have no idea how to get rid of voles.  I didn’t even know what a vole was until yesterday, much less how to take care of the vole problem.  This is the first time I’ve actually been happy I have neighbors who love yard work.

I work long hours at my day job, and I usually have a gig somewhere most nights.  When I’m not out at night singing in clubs, I’m watching other bands or writing songs, or just hanging out.  So, my lawn is really the last thing on my mind.  Most weekends are busy for me, too, so I don’t spend a lot of time mowing my lawn, pulling weeds, trimming bushes, and whatever else people do.

Unfortunately, I have neighbors who really care about that stuff.  I mean, these guys are out there almost every night with their big power tools edging stuff, cutting stuff, trimming stuff.  They mow so carefully, it’s like an art form for these guys, with perfect mow lines evenly spaced across the yard.  They all have gardens, and every year they come over and politely drop off bags full of excess tomatoes from their harvest.  I hate tomatoes.  Their wives suggest I could can them.  I don’t can.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.  Then their wives ask me, very kindly, if I’d like their husband to help me out with my yard.

It’s not a girl-guy thing, either.  Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I can’t do it.  It’s just that it’s not important to me.  And, just because I’m single doesn’t mean I need a man to come over and take care of the yard for me.  I hire a kid from the neighborhood to mow once a week, I make sure the sprinklers are turned on regularly, and I call it good.  It’s not like I spend a lot of time at home, so why waste it doing yard work?

It was the kid who mows my lawn who told me I needed to get rid of voles.  I had no idea what he was talking about, so he invited me outside so he could show me the criss-cross streaks of dried grass all over the lawn.  He also pointed out the tiny little holes everywhere.  Then, he showed me the piece-de-resistance – a dead vole.  Kind of looked like a mouse, but with a more pointed nose.  The kid told me all about how there’s probably tons more under my grass, blah, blah blah.

Then, one of my neighbors spotted me and came out, full of advice of how to get rid of voles.  My eyes kind of glazed over after he talked about traps and trips to the nearest gardening store for bait or poison.  Seriously, I think it’s great that people try to do it themselves, but I really don’t need to.  The one thing I know about problems like this is who to call.  Allstate Animal Control.  I figure if there might be a lot more of them, and it’s a real problem, why not just have an expert come out and take care of it, right?  They’ll get rid of voles at a good price, and I can keep on living my yard-work-free life.