Tag Archives: snake control

Snake Removal

Snake removal isn’t something you think about at all, until you need it.  Rick and I had just moved in together a few weeks ago, and we were still making a few adjustments to having another person around all the time.  We don’t really fight, but we are great at bickering, and we’d already bickered over groceries, over who has to do the dishes, and even how to make the bed.  But, we loved each other and we were happy to be together.

He had gone to bed kind of early that night, and I stayed up late working on my laptop.  I tried to focus on the presentation I had to make at work the next day, but it got harder and harder as the night got later and later.  As I tried to decide whether to just go to bed or get some caffeine and stay up even later, a book fell off the bookshelf all by itself.  I have to admit, I jumped, and my tired brain immediately thought of the last horror movie I’d seen.

I told myself I was being stupid and crossed the room to replace the book.  As I bent down to pick it up off the floor, something moved behind the books remaining on the shelf.  I screamed, threw the book and jumped backwards on the couch all at the same time.  My boyfriend came tearing down the stairs to see what was going on.

I didn’t even know what to tell him.  “There’s something behind the books!” I finally got out.  He must’ve thought I was being silly over a spider or something, because he got kind of angry and yanked a couple of books out.  “Breeeaaaaah!”  I have no idea what he meant to say, but he made some kind of weird noise.  That’s when we realized we had a snake in the house.

After his initial shock, Rick went into snake removal action.  He grabbed a five-iron from his golf bag in the hall closet and stalked towards the bookshelf.  “What do you think you’re going to do with that?” I laughed.  Shock and adrenaline had turned into laughter.  The whole situation seemed ridiculous.

“I’m gonna get rid of the snake,” he said, ignoring my giggles.  Despite my levity, I remained perched on the back of the couch, far away from the snake in the bookshelf.

“With a golf club?”

“That’s right.”  Rick used the club to pull the remaining books off the shelf, and I screamed again as the snake wriggled onto the floor.  Quickly, Rick pinned the snake against the floor with the five-iron and then looked at me.  “Now what?” he asked.

“Ummm, tongs!” I yelled, pleased with my quick thinking.  I ran out the back door and came back triumphantly with his barbeque tongs.

“What’m I supposed to do with this?” Rick growled as the trapped snake tried desperately to get away.

“Put the tongs behind its head so it can’t bite you, and then carry it outside.”

Rick turned to look at me, which loosened his grip on the club.  The snake, feeling less pressure, made a bold move and got free, which sparked a whole new series of screams from me.  Fortunately, he was able to trap the snake again.  Without looking at me this time, he calmed me down and then said, “Go find a number for a snake removal service and call them.”

I agreed that was a good idea and crawled over the back side of the couch to turn my laptop back on.

“Oh, and ask them what I should do with this thing while I’m waiting for them to show up and get rid of the snake, okay?”

As I dialed the number on my cell phone, I muttered, “I bet they tell you to use tongs.”  Rick didn’t say a word.

Snake Problems

Who knew you could take care of your snake problem with a wild eastern cottontail rabbit?  Crazy, right?  That’s what happened to us one Sunday morning.  We were all sitting around on the back porch, hanging out, talking, and watching the wild life in our yard.  We live on a large enough property, a few acres, and we get lots of wild animals that come through, doing their thing.  Mostly they stay clear of our house, but sometimes we have problems.

Lately, we’ve had some pretty large, but harmless snakes that have been coming around.  They’re seeing if they can get hold of some baby rabbits or some mice or some other tasty little treat.  A few years back, we found one in the kitchen.  Seems a few mice had gotten into the house and decided to nest under the sink.  It was a little while before we knew, because we were on vacation.  The mice had started to breed, and I guess a snake could hear them in there, because it crawled on in after them for dinner.  We walked in from our vacation to the Tetons to find out we had a snake problem and a mouse problem right there in our house.  Well, we got a professional wildlife control guy out who took care of our problems and cleaned the house out.  He also stopped up all of the holes we could find, and that’s pretty much worked ever since.

But, like I said, they mostly stay out in yard.  When animals cause trouble or start digging things up, we call in our professional wild animal control guy again.  But, sometimes, we just sit out on the porch and watch nature take its course.

We were doing just that when we saw a good-sized snake slithering toward a rabbit’s nest.  The eastern cottontails just dig a shallow den right on the ground and that’s where they have their babies.  This snake was just going for a tasty snack.  The next thing we know, mama rabbit jumped right on the snake!  We thought it was a one-time thing, like the rabbit didn’t know what it was doing at first.  But, again and again, it jumped at that big ol’ snake.  It must’ve bit it, too, ‘cause that snake went slithering for cover fast.

The snake must’ve thought it just needed some distance away from the baby rabbits, but mama rabbit wasn’t happy with that, either.  She just kept at it, jumping, attacking, biting until the snake got desperate.  It made it to a tree and climbed on up, the rabbit jumping higher and higher and biting until the snake got up high enough in the branches.  I didn’t ever believe it was possible for a snake to look scared, but I swear it was terrified.  Guess we won’t have much of a snake problem while that one rabbit’s out on patrol.

Get Rid of Snakes

get rid of snakes
Ahhh, life is good.  I’ve got people who get rid of snakes for me.  They keep me safe under this beautiful glass house, where no birds can get at me.  I have all the food and water I want, and even get plenty of cheese from time to time.  When I feel like a good run, I jump in this wheel thing and just go at it with total abandon.  Yup, life is pretty . . .

            What was that?!  A hiss?  Coming from where??  No, I couldn’t’ be.  My people got rid of the snakes, didn’t they?  Unless they didn’t plug up all the holes leading into the house. Ohhhhh, no.  It is a snake.  I kind of see it now – its ugly little head gliding along the floor, long ugly body following.  If I stay real still, it probably won’t see me.  Can’t get up here on this high table, anyway, right?  Maybe?  Perhaps if I run behind my food bowl and wheel it won’t notice me up here.

            Move along!  Nothing to eat here.  Aaaaeeeee, it knows I’m here!  And, here it comes.  Run!  BONK!  Stupid glass house.  Pant, pant, run!  BONK!  Aaargh!  What to do??  Where to hide??  Jump!  Jump!  Freeze.

            It’s closer, closer.  It’s just staring at me.  It knows I can’t run.  Just . . . can’t . . . stop . . . shaking.  I back into the corner and sit back on my hind legs, and go still.  If I have to face death, I will look it right in the eyes.

            BONK!  I shake my head and stare.  What just happened?  I grin.  Well, as much as a mouse can grin.  The stupid snake is kind of swaying a little.  He hit the glass pretty hard and I was safe inside.  Just to test my theory, I bounce a little and wiggle my nose at him.  THWAP!  That stupid snake hit his head even harder this time.  Hilarious!!  This day just went from awful to awesome.

            I shimmy on up to the glass wall, right up in front of his little beady eyes.  “You look so mad, you could just shed your skin right there.”  Okay, as taunts go, that was kind of lame, but I’m just warming up.  “Aaaah, don’t get your tail in a twist.”

            I jumped up into my running place.  “Look at me!  I’m a meal on a wheel!”  I ran even quicker.  “Now, I’m fast food!” 

            “Thank you, thank you.  I’ll be here all week – too bad you won’t be.  Try the chicken.  I mean, really, try the chicken cuz mouse ain’t on the menu.”

            Just then, my people come home.  I squeak to get their attention, and eventually the big man comes running over.  He grabbed that sucker right behind its head and got rid of that snake.  I just hope they plug up all the holes this time so he can’t get back in.  Maybe, if he does, I’ll have some new and better material next time.