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Pigeons

Get Rid of Pigeons

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Sure, I want to get rid of the pigeons in my attic, but I never wanted it this way.  Smudgins is a beautiful Russian Blue cat, with soft fur that hardly sheds at all, an easy purr, a friendly attitude towards kids, and a deep love of sitting in my lap as I read.  I deliberately chose to keep her as an indoor cat, because I live on a busy street, and I can’t bear to think of her as a victim of an accident.  I dread the idea of someone knocking on my door to inform me they ran over my cat, or worse, just having her disappear.  So, I keep her indoors, and she seems to be happy.  I guess I underestimated the driving need a cat feels for hunting.  I never saw the vicious side of her, until now.

I have known about the pigeons in the attic for a couple of months, now.  I know I’ve been lazy, but I’m busy with work, and when I come home, I just want to relax with some soft music playing as I cook and eat a gourmet meal by myself (I love to cook), and then sit in my comfortable couch reading a good book and petting Smudgins.  It’s not an exciting life, but I’m happy, and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

So, I’ve been lazy.  I know I need to get rid of the pigeons in the attic, but I’ve grown accustomed to the rustling noise up there, and I just didn’t make it a priority.  Until now.

I woke up this morning, put on my slippers, and headed into the kitchen for some breakfast.  My feet slid on something wet on the floor, and when I flipped on the light, I screamed.  It was blood.  Not a lot, but enough.  And feathers.  And some entrails and other pigeon parts.  It seems Smudgins got feisty during the night, found her way up into the attic, and caught herself a pigeon.  As cats do, she obviously felt the need to play catch-and-release-and-catch-again with it.  Otherwise, she would have just killed it in the attic and munched on it up there.  Instead, there I was, standing in the midst of the most horrific kill I’d ever witnessed, feathers and pigeon blood in the middle of my kitchen floor.

And Smudgins sauntered into the kitchen, looking smug and pleased as could be.  She actually had the gall to meow at me for not filling up her cat dish fast enough this morning.

It is now a priority for me to get rid of pigeons.  I can’t bear the thought of waking up to that again.  Good thing I can call Allstate Animal Control and get rid of the pigeons right away.  What a nightmare!

Pigeons

Pigeons in the House

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pigeon removal

As the children have gotten older, I’m able to let them play outside on their own more and more, but they still have this awful habit of leaving the door open, and now we’re getting pigeons in the house.  At first, I didn’t realize we’d have a pigeon problem.  I thought the children’s frustrating habit of leaving the door wide open would simply lead to higher heating and air conditioning bills, or allow the next door neighbor’s dog to run inside our home every now and then.  I didn’t know it could lead to pigeons in the house, and I’m more disgusted by those devil birds than I am by our neighbor’s unwashed yappy little creature.  At least with a dog, I can shoo it out of my house, clean up after it, and know that it’s gone.  I have no idea how many pigeons have fluttered their way into my home, so I don’t know if one got left behind, hiding in another room, dropping little bird mites onto my sofa or dining room table, ready to swoop down on one of us when we walk unsuspectingly into that room.  Just gross.

 

But, they do.  My guess is, they’re nesting or roosting in the house just down the street.  It’s been abandoned for just over a year now.  The previous owners struggled with their mortgage payments, especially after the husband got sick and the medical bills racked up.  They had to move out of state to live nearer to a special clinic that he needed, so they rented it out for a while.  Unfortunately, the people who rented it didn’t take care of the place, and it got run down pretty quick.  Finally, the bank had to foreclose on the place, the tenants moved, and it’s sat there empty ever since.  What a waste.  And, what an attractive place for nuisance animals like pigeons to call their home.

 

I’m not naïve.  I fully expect those flying rats to breed and move into the rest of the neighborhood.  Or, attempt to move in.  My husband and I have been pretty vigilant about checking out our attic to make sure nothing’s living up there, and we spot check the outside of our house, looking for holes or cracks.  But, I’ve heard a lot of animals can get into the house through the tiniest of openings.  Of course, my kids like to put out the welcome mat for them, when they disregard my rules and leave the door wide open.

 

We get pigeons in the house who just fly or walk right through the open back door.   I will find them around the dog’s food bowl, or hanging around the kitchen garbage can.  I grab the broom and chase those suckers straight back out the door, but sometimes I’ll miss one.  I might have to call the bank that foreclosed on that empty house, to see if they’ll get Allstate Animal Control to get rid of the pigeons in the house.  And, my family will just have to be more vigilant to keep them out of our house, too.

 

 

 

 

Exterminator

Summit County Exterminator

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Is it possible to get the Summit County exterminator to follow me around at the park and get rid of these dang pigeons?  Every day, rain or shine, snow or sun, I take my walk, and it used to be a wonderful perk to retirement.  I get up, put on the same dark gray jacket (rain or shine), my dark gray ball cap (snow or sun) and head out the door.  My usual route takes me about a mile and a half down the street, and then I stroll down the park paths of our neighborhood park, and another couple of miles around the business district before heading home for lunch.  I’m a regular, so people know me, and I know them.  Moms have their kids wave to the “nice man” and I wave back and keep walking.  There’s a guy I usually see who’s out jogging around 10:00 every morning, and he gives me a friendly nod as he huffs on by.  A couple of businesswomen take their smoke break around 11:00 every day, and we tease each other as I make my way past their building.  I’m the guy who waves at the cars that pass me, and some of the drivers even wave back.  Walking is just my thing.  I enjoy it every morning, have lunch at home, and then head back out to go play cards with my friends.  It’s not an exciting life, but it’s my life, and I love it.

One day I got stupid.  I had some old bread leftover at home, so I grabbed it up and took it with me on my walk.  As I walked through the park, I tossed a few crumbs here and there to feed the pigeons that roost in the nearby apartments.  And now I need my own personal Summit County exterminator.

These little suckers just won’t leave me alone.  As soon as my feet turn onto the park path, they fly down from their roosts up in the buildings adjacent to the park, poop raining down on the sidewalk and anyone else who happens to be on it.  Then, they parade after me like they expect me to give them a free handout every time I step out my door.  I’ve tried shooing them away, but they just fly up around my head, then land all around me and follow like I’m some dagum pied piper.  I even stepped on one once.  I just can’t seem to get rid of the pigeons.  Now, instead of being the happy, friendly old man who waves at people as he strolls by, I’m the crazy, grumpy old man with a pigeon problem.

Not okay.  I’ve got a phone number for the Summit County exterminator and I’m taking it over to the apartment managers.  I hope they’ll get rid of the pigeons living in their building, but if not, I’ll have to find another park to walk through every day.  Either that or just accept my fate as the leader of the pigeons.

Pigeons

Pigeon Control

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Before this week, I had no idea that pigeon control could control my life.  My wife and I have entered into the previously unknown world of rental properties and property management, and we’re learning it involves much more than getting a tenant and collecting rents.

Since our last child moved out, we have wanted to move to a smaller, but nicer, home.  Despite our grown children’s sadness at seeing their childhood home go on the market, we spent a lot of time and effort sprucing up the place to our realtor’s specifications, and hoped for the right buyer.  As time passed, we hoped for any buyer.  We soon realized that our beautiful home was not going to sell quickly in this depressed market.  Of course, we had already located a gorgeous town home, and desperately wanted to buy it.  We just needed to sell our home first.

Finally, our realtor suggested that we either drastically lower the price, or consider renting.  We worked it out with our mortgage people, and thanks to some money we had stashed away, we were able to put a down payment on the town home.  Fairly quickly, we found a family happy to rent our previous home.  We thought we had it made.

And, then, pigeon control became a part of our life.  Our rental family was nice enough.  They paid their rent on time, which helped us make our mortgage payment on time.  Our former neighbors never complained to us.  But, they just didn’t take very good care of the house.  Since they didn’t own it outright, they just let minor problems go on until they became big problems.

A couple of shingles blew off our roof during a recent thunderstorm, and instead of replacing them, or even telling us about them, our tenants just ignored it.  Before long, we had a little bit of water damage in the house, and pigeons had moved into the attic.  Not many pigeons, but just enough to cause a ruckus and get the attic filthy.  Of course, that’s when our tenants finally called us for pigeon control.

When I went to inspect the damage and the pigeon problem, it was so gross.  There were pigeon nests up there, a couple of dead pigeons, and pigeon guano everywhere.  The smell was bad, and the damage was worse.   I didn’t even want to think about all the tiny little mites and other bugs that might be infesting our house.

Allstate Animal Control came out and did the pigeon control for me, and they even cleaned up the mess and installed pigeon blockers.  We suffered through the rest of our lease term with the renters, went back in and fixed everything up the way we like, and put the house on the market.  Hopefully, this time, we’ll get buyers and not have to worry about pigeon control ever again.

Pigeons

Get Rid of Pigeons

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“Get rid of the pigeon!  It’s in your kitchen.  You gotta get rid of the pigeon somehow.”

Dennis and Tom were stuck together doing a history project about President Truman, and, even though they didn’t really know each other, they had decided to hang out at Dennis’ house for the afternoon, get a pizza and get the project done.  Dennis’ parents both worked full-time, and he was an only child, so they’d have the place to themselves for several hours.  Tom got permission from his foster parents, and they walked to Dennis’ apartment after school.

Tom was kind of a quiet kid, and there were a lot of unkind rumors going around about him at school.  He never confirmed or denied any of the rumors, and Dennis suspected he started some of them himself.  So, Dennis had no idea that Tom’s father had died when he was three, and his mother was an abusive alcoholic, so Tom had been taken from his mother’s care and placed into a foster home.  His foster parents were nothing like the stereotype.  They were nice to him, let him have his privacy while encouraging his passion for reading and building model airplanes.

Dennis had both his parents, who, in his opinion, gave him too much space.  They left for work an hour before he walked to school, they usually came home three hours after he’d returned, and they went away on weekend trips a lot.  They told him how proud they were of him, and how self-reliant he was, but sometimes, he really wished they were there a lot more.

When the two boys walked into the apartment, they heard a crash in the kitchen.  Dennis dropped his bag and ran in there, followed by a more timid Tom.  Both boys saw the pigeon sitting on the edge of the kitchen sink.  It had knocked over a dirty breakfast bowl, which had crashed on the floor.

As they quickly retreated into the main room, Tom was adamant that they had to get rid of the pigeon.  “They carry all kinds of diseases,” he told Dennis, “And, they’re just . . . gross.”

Dennis secretly agreed, but he felt he needed to show off a little, first.  He started grabbing stuff from the main room, and, bragging that he could hit the pigeon with anything, he started throwing things at the bird.  A dustpan flew into the kitchen and clattered onto the floor, followed by a couch pillow and one of his mom’s stupid cat knick-knacks.  The pigeon flew up into the air, and banged into the window in a frantic effort to get out.  Finally, Tom took pity on the bird and stopped Dennis from throwing his textbook at it.  He quietly walked into the kitchen, opened the window, and said, “The best way to get rid of a pigeon is to let it out.”

Dennis frowned at his boring history project partner, and picked up the phone.  “Pepperoni okay?” he asked.

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Pigeon Control

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pigeon removal

My brother’s nuts, because he thinks the pigeons in our bedroom are a sign of good luck, but I know it’s better to get pigeon control in here immediately.

We live in a typical big apartment building, devoid of any personality.  From the outside, it’s just an ugly white, broken up by tiny black windows, fire escape ladders, and streaks of bird droppings.  It has even less personality on the inside, where ancient floors echo footsteps off white walls, and the doors leading to individual apartments are decorated only by little black numbers.

It’s a whole different world inside our apartment, though.  Mom doesn’t make a lot of extra money at her job, so it’s not like we had an interior designer come through to transform our small, two-bedroom apartment into a sanctuary from the world.  But, Mom sure does believe in color, and she’s draped bright red curtains over the windows, painted our room an eye-searing blue, and she’s filled every shelf with brightly colored glass knick-knacks.

My brother’s turning ten next week, and the only thing he’s begged for is a pet.  I know that’s not going to happen, and Mom’s even explained to him we can’t have a pet in this small apartment.  It would stink, we don’t have room for a pet, and worst of all, my brother’s allergic.

So, I can’t really blame him when he thought his birthday wish came true early.  He loves to open our bedroom window to hear all the noises of the kids playing in the playground below, and to his delight, two pigeons flew in the open window.  Once the pigeons were in, he slammed the window shut.  The pigeons didn’t seem to mind too much.  They just walked around on the window sill and cooed every now and then.

As soon as I realized what happened, I went to call the building supervisor so he could get pigeon control up to our apartment whenever he got around to it.  I knew Mom would have a fit if she came home from work tonight to find two pigeons in the house.  Already, there was an ugly stain on the wall under the window, and I swore I would not be the one to clean it up.  My brother was rushing around the kitchen looking for old bread and a bag of sunflower seeds he swore was in the cupboard, while I yelled at him that we had to let pigeon control take care of the problem.  He kept yelling back that the pigeons were not a problem, that they were his birthday pigeons, so I should just shut up.

When my brother’s got something in mind, he’s super stubborn, so I just sighed.  The guys who come up to do pigeon control can deal with my brother.  I did my part, I dunno who’s gonna clean up the mess, but it ain’t gonna be me.  I just laid back down on the couch with my book and waited for either pigeon control or Mom to come home, whichever came first.

Pigeons

Pigeon Removal

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pigeon removal

As an interior designer working in the city, I don’t consider pigeon removal as my area of expertise.  I specialize in transforming apartments to really reflect the resident’s personalities.  Most of my clients love living in the city, even though it means paying a lot of money to live in a small, cramped space with no view.  So, I try to make an oasis out of the space they have.  After I’m done, they can still enjoy the passions of city life and have a relaxing haven to call home.

Of course, when I first arrive at most clients’ apartments, it’s immediately obvious they need a professional designer and decorator.  Some people’s attempts (or lack thereof) of decorating are just abominable.  I knew one lady who only owned a bed out of necessity, but hadn’t purchased any other furniture, because she was afraid of making bad decorating decisions.  She sat on the floor to eat her meals and didn’t have friends over, because she had nowhere for them to sit.  She’d been living like that for over a year before finally hiring me.

One gentleman just accepted all the hand-me-down furniture and wall-hangings from his mother, without even trying to make them his own.  When I first met him, I found a heterosexual bachelor living with overstuffed flowered couches and chairs and lace-encrusted pictures of birds and butterflies.

Whatever people’s design-choices, I have noticed a trend amongst city-apartment tenants.  They almost always have to deal with pigeon removal one way or the other.  Some wise people invest in a good pigeon removal service to keep their balcony free of birds and bird-debris.  Some people choose to ignore the pigeon problem and end up with pigeon guano encrusted on their balcony floor several layers deep.  Some people, the do-it-yourselfers, try more creative approaches.  One woman actually drew scary faces on white balloons and taped the balloons to her railing, hoping to humanely frighten the pigeons from roosting on her window sills.  She was traumatized when she realized her “humane” efforts ended up killing the pigeons that swallowed pieces of popped balloons.   Some people attempt pigeon removal with thick wires with nails thrust through them.  They glue these wires onto the areas where pigeons roost, hoping the nails that stick out will prevent the pigeons from resting their tired wings in and around their apartment.  Unfortunately, some people don’t install these correctly, and either end up giving pigeons a perfect nook in which to roost free from predators, or impale their hands as they’re installing it.

Most pigeon removal materials do not enhance the look of an apartment.  I take care of the interior, and make it an oasis for my clients, but I always suggest a good pigeon removal service to get rid of pigeon problems for them.  After all, why spend good money on beautiful furniture and decorations if your guests are just going to focus on the balloons dancing madly in the wind outside your one and only window?

Pigeons

Pigeon Problems

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Ugh, it’s hard enough building our first house without having to deal with pigeon problems!  We thought we were doing great, especially for a first home.  We’d saved and saved until we could purchase the property we wanted, we bought the house plans we loved, took out a construction loan and hired a general contractor.  The idea was the general contractor would take care of construction until we could take over.  We’d hang the dry-wall, take care of the finish plumbing and electrical, we’d do the finish carpentry, floors and painting.  We wanted to do a lot of the work ourselves – it would save us money and we’d enjoy the home so much more knowing our blood, sweat and tears went into it.  Of course, we had no idea how much blood, sweat and tears we’d end up shedding, but through it all, we believed it would be worth it.

We still worked at our full-time jobs, so we worked on the house every evening and every minute of every weekend and holiday.  One evening we showed up and noticed bird droppings on the living room sub-floor.  I cleaned it up, and we got to work on the drywall.  But it happened again the next night and the next night, and I found droppings all over the house.

I was sure we had pigeon problems.

Finally, early Saturday morning, we arrived and went looking for the pigeons before working on the drywall again.  Sure enough, we found pigeons building nests in the air-conditioning vent and also the attic.  My husband had done some research and discovered that pigeons can harbor over 40 types of parasites and transmit up to 60 types of infectious diseases through their droppings.  We had a much more serious pigeon problem than we’d first suspected.

I was so frustrated, because we had such limited time to work on the house, and now we’d have to spend time suiting up for biohazard cleanup, just to have pigeons build more nests in our new home!  It was disgusting, and I was sure that if we didn’t handle the pigeon problem right, they would come back, even after the home was built, and crap all over our hard work and dreams.

So, this is where the tears came in.  We’d already put in the blood and sweat, thanks to an improperly held nail gun and countless hours of work.  Building our first home was already stressful, and now we had to deal with pigeons moving in before we even got a chance to sleep there one night.  It was more than I could bear and my husband, too manly to cry, was on the edge, too.

Fortunately, our general contractor just happened to stop by right then to see how we were progressing.  We showed him the disgusting mess, and he said he saw this kind of thing all the time.  He gave us the number of a professional wildlife removal service that specializes in removing birds out of buildings, cleaning and sanitizing the area and would help us keep them out of the home.  We made the call and went back to work, feeling like it was going to be all right after all.

Pigeons

Pigeon Trapping

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I almost fell out of my roost this morning, I was so excited that the weather was warm and I was sure no one would be thinking about pigeon trapping.  It had been a long and tough winter.  The harsh weather kept most humans from coming out into the park and playground to play, much less to feed us with delicious stale bread or hearty bird seed.  We were left to fend for ourselves, like some sort of wild animals, scavenging and scraping by.

Fortunately, the nearby businesses provided plenty of warm and safe places to roost.  Some of us had found a hole just large enough to get into the warm attic-like space in one office building.   We’d left a lot of droppings everywhere, and some of the snowmelt had mixed with our guano.  It was starting to corrode some of the joists.  Some people from the building got wise to us, though, and put out pigeon traps, but they didn’t follow through and so we ended up spending the rest of the winter in there.

But, today, was beautiful and sunny and just warm enough to get people outside.  I flew down with some of the others to see if the people left scraps behind their picnic lunches, or even better, if anyone had bread or birdseed to toss to us.  I was not disappointed!

Children were squealing with delight as they played on the playground, their parents oblivious (or perhaps choosing to look the other way) to the pigeon droppings smattered around on the slides, swings and crawlspaces.  Adults talked and clearly enjoyed the excellent weather.  All humans were in excellent moods, and not a single one of them even considered pigeon trapping.  On the contrary, some of them had planned ahead and brought bird seed with them to share their good fortune with us birds.

It was agonizingly slow, sometimes, though.  We’d have to wait and wait for a tiny handful of seed to be tossed around, and then fight and squabble with each other over each morsel.  I was getting fed up, so to speak.  I just wanted to gobble up my share, fill my stomach for the first time in months.  Finally, it dawned on me what I had to do, and I was frankly surprised no one else had thought of it.

I waited for the perfect moment, and then, finally, it happened.  One of the women with a large bag of birdseed looked away for a moment.  A moment was all I needed.  A blur, I flew up just high enough and landed right inside the bag!  No other bird could fit in there, and I had all the seed my stomach could hold, all to myself!  Oh, the joy!  Ha ha!  I had been afraid the woman would drop the bag in surprise and ruin my plans, but the weather was so nice that she had to laugh with surprise and joy.  Ah, this was the best kind of pigeon trapping I could have imagined.  All the food I wanted, a happy human, and an exit whenever I felt like leaving.

Pigeons

Pigeon Removal


I LOVE pigeons – no need to call for pigeon removal when you can just call me and have me come in and clean up after them.  Big Red’s my name and cleaning pigeon guano’s my game!  Just pay me year after year to clean up the sticky, gooey mess left by those loveable little flyin’ critters. 

            Do you have a great view from your balcony, as long as you don’t look at the floor?  A wrap-around porch that crunches when you walk on it?  Those little varmints can git into a garage or attic and make such a mess as you’ve never seen!  Gimmee a call, and I’ll pressure-wash it for ya.  Course, I’ll be back, thanks to those beautiful flying rats called pigeons. Those birds paid for my RV.  I plan to drive around in that beauty when I retire, and visit all the big cities where the big flocks live.  Sakes alive, I love to bird watch!

            Pigeon guano has ammonia and corrosive acids that eat away at structures.  You don’t call me, it’ll turn into a concentrated salt that, when combined with rainwater, will rust anything.  Some people even think it was responsible for a bridge collapsing – awful, awful.  Imagine what it’s doing to your beautiful balcony with a view.  It’s been said it can dissolve concrete.  But, you don’t want me gettin’ into all the science n’ stuff – just trust me, it’s not just an eyesore, that stuff.  It’s bad for the building and dangerous for you.

            Pigeon removal?  Sure, you could call a professional to get rid of them, but let’s face it.  Why disturb the circle of life?  Pigeons live, pigeons poop, and I need a steady income of cleaning up after ‘em.  See, circle of life!  My life, that is.

            Am I afraid of getting those nasty diseases that pigeon guano can cause?  Eh, not really.  I mean, I wear my face mask, suit up, and put on my heavy gloves before I power wash that stuff away.  It’s nasty, too.  When it’s dried, and parts of it is floatin’ in the air, it can get right into your lungs.  Better hope you’re healthy enough to fight off those fungal infections!   

            Course, as long as you call me in to clean it up, you won’t be too affected by sickness.  I mean, that stuff can cause pneumonia, fever, chills, muscle aches – all kinds of nasty.  I have to make sure I’m real protected when I come in, and hopefully, I’m careful enough that I do it right and keep you safe from disease.   

            I’m a straight-shooter, so I’ll be honest now and tell ya the best thing you can do is get rid of those critters by calling a pigeon removal service.  But, you still gotta deal with the mess left behind.  That’s where I come in!  Plus, I’ve got this real pretty place in Florida I wanna see from my RV, and I could sure use the gas money.  Gimme a call and I’ll get rid of the nasties for ya.