Tag Archives: pigeon poop

Too Good to be True

You know that feeling when you find the perfect house, fully furnished and no problems? Yeah, neither do I; but I almost knew what that felt like, I came really, really close.  My husband and I were shopping for our first house together between the things we wanted and our budget, it was hard to do.  So, when we found a house that had practically everything on our wish list, we were all in! The thing is, we didn’t realize that we were buying a pigeon problem along with it.

We called the realtor to tell her we were interested then asked if the house had already been inspected, she said the house had been on the market for a while and would probably need to have a new one done. So, we called an inspector and had him go look at the house.  Everything looked good to him; well ALMOST everything, if you don’t count the 79 dead pigeons and poop that covered the attic from wall to wall!  When he called and told us I was in absolute disbelief, not to mention how disgusted I was at the idea of such an extreme pigeon problem!  I wanted to blame the owner but considering that it was a widowed man that had been moved into an assisted living facility that seemed a like a little much.

The problem is that we still love the house.  It’s just outside of our preferred neighborhood, it’s not far from either my husband or my job, and it is a great looking house.  The problem is, I don’t know if we can afford the down payment AND a clean-up service, especially because I know it will be a big project that will push back our move in date – which means another month’s rent we don’t have.  So like I said, I almost experienced that wonderful feeling of everything going right, but not quite.  I’ll let you know after we deal with this pigeon problem, though.

Pigeon Poop

pigeon_crap375 gallons of pigeon droppings?  Yep.  Twice a year, some unlucky parking garage employee in a Fairbanks, Alaska garage gets the job of cleaning up after the pigeons that roost in and around the garage.  The hazmat suit is donned, special hazardous waste material bags are used, and about 75 gallons of pigeon poop is scooped up.  According to some government reports, one pigeon produces up to 25 pounds of poop every year.  Now, multiply that by however many pigeons are roosting in and around your business, garage, office building, apartments, home or outbuilding!  And, it’s not just gross to look at.  It’s corrosive!  Pigeon droppings are acidic enough that it eats through concrete, wood or metal joists, weakening a structure, defacing buildings, and ruining property.  So, not only does it weaken the structure of a building, but it’s heavy enough to weigh it down and cause serious damage.  When you weigh the pros and cons of ways of dealing with a pigeon problem, you need to also consider the cost of repairing joists, re-facing the building, re-pouring concrete.  A professional bird remover will not only get rid of the roosting pigeons, but will clean up pigeon droppings and sanitize the area, as well as install materials that will keep pigeons out of your building.  It’s well worth it to have an expert take care of the pigeon problem once and for all instead of dealing with the problem year after year after year.

Pigeons in the Carwash

pigeon_crap3          We all thought my sister Marcy was making up the dumbest story. She kept saying that she saw pigeons living in the drive-through car wash, which was totally stupid, because there’s no way  they would survive in there, with all the machinery moving and the soap spray and everything else going on in there.  Of course she said she tried to take pictures of them with her phone, but that’s just when the soap covered her car, or the picture was too blurry with water spray or the big spinning brushes in there.  Convenient.  Pigeons in the car wash, but no way to take a picture of them?!  Yeah, right.

Mom and Dad are letting us share a car, but we have to pay for the gas, change the oil regularly, and make sure it stays clean.  Course, that works in theory for my parents, cuz they don’t have to drive us around all the time, but it means that Marcy and I fight all the time over the car.  When Dad threatened to take the car away if we couldn’t work things out, we decided we’d both contribute to the “Car Jar”, which means a little bit of both of our paychecks goes into the jar to pay for gas, carwashes, stuff like that.  Then, whoever goes to get that done just pulls the money out of the jar for it.  It kind of works.  But, we still fight a lot over who has to do what, and who gets to use the car each day.  We just don’t fight around Mom and Dad anymore.

But, every time it’s Marcy’s turn to get the car washed, she complains.  She doesn’t want to do it herself, so she takes it to the only drive-through car wash.  Fine, whatever.  But, then she complains that the pigeons in the car wash freak her out.  Plus, she says, why should she wash the car there if they’re just going to poop on it as soon as she drives out.  I thought she was just making it up because she hates having to do anything like wash the car or vacuum it or anything else.  She’s pretty lazy.

So I finally said I’d take the car through the drive-through wash, just to shut her up.  When our car was dirty enough to justify the ten bucks, I headed on over with Marcy in the passenger’s seat.

Wouldn’t you know it, even with the spray and soap and brushes everywhere, I could see some pigeons in the car wash.  One of them was sitting on the tiny ledge above a window, and another pigeon actually had a nest on top of the big dryer that moves up and down.  There were eggs up there!  Marcy said that was new, and she finally got her picture of the pigeons in the car wash.  She took the picture just before our car went under the dryer and right before that pigeon pooped on the windshield.  Unbelievable.  Guess my sister’s not as stupid as I thought.  We showed the manager our picture and got another free car wash out of it, but I got the impression they already knew they had pigeons in the car wash and just didn’t want to do anything about it.  Marcy made a deal with me – I always wash the car at home so she doesn’t have to go to the car wash again, and she puts a little extra money in the Car Jar.  Works for me.

Pigeons in Church

pigeon_trap4                       The pigeon in the church saved the funeral services.  We were tired of sitting, the pews were hard, the air was stifling, even the best-intentioned of us were visibly fighting off a case of the drowsies.  My friend’s wife, Sarah, had died, and she would have hated her own funeral.  Her youngest child, an honest boy of eleven years old, leaned over to his dad and said, “Mom’s probably laughing at us right now.”  He was right.  She had the kind of sunny personality that laughed at etiquette, and was likely mocking her family and friends struggling to remain attentive throughout the droning sermons at her funeral.

Why on earth do people who speak at a funeral feel the need to repeat the same consoling phrases and stories time after time?  It’s as if they think the longer they talk, the more homage they’re paying to our loved one.  My friend’s wife would have preferred a few hilarious stories about her, a great song or two, and a fabulous party with her coffin in the center of the room.  Maybe she got so tired of what was happening that she sent that pigeon into the church.

In the middle of a diatribe of how “the passing of a loved one is more sad for those of us who remain on earth than it is for our loved ones,” a pigeon dislodged itself from a hiding place somewhere up in the church roof and dive-bombed the podium.  The speaker squeaked and his notes scattered.  The pigeon in the church was soon joined by a few more, who flew over our heads, close enough we could feel the breeze from their filthy wings.  A pigeon dropped a little “bomb” of its own right on the shoulder of a young woman who was a distant relative of the dearly departed.  She had chosen to wear the most revealing, slinkiest little dress I’d ever seen at a funeral, but now it had a white splotch oozing down the shoulder and onto the front.

No one was snoozing now, no one was crying now.  There was chaos.  Some children tried to catch the pigeons in the church.  Fathers waved the birds off and some women tried in vain to maintain some kind of composure and dignity throughout it all.  We were all reminded of how the woman in the casket would have loved the disruption, her full infectious laugh would have rung out loudly.  The speaker was flustered, the pastor was embarrassed to have pigeons in the church, but most of us were grateful the proceedings were cut short and we could move on to enjoying each other’s company, consoling each other’s grief, and remembering how wonderful Sarah was.

Pigeon Control

Before this week, I had no idea that pigeon control could control my life.  My wife and I have entered into the previously unknown world of rental properties and property management, and we’re learning it involves much more than getting a tenant and collecting rents.

Since our last child moved out, we have wanted to move to a smaller, but nicer, home.  Despite our grown children’s sadness at seeing their childhood home go on the market, we spent a lot of time and effort sprucing up the place to our realtor’s specifications, and hoped for the right buyer.  As time passed, we hoped for any buyer.  We soon realized that our beautiful home was not going to sell quickly in this depressed market.  Of course, we had already located a gorgeous town home, and desperately wanted to buy it.  We just needed to sell our home first.

Finally, our realtor suggested that we either drastically lower the price, or consider renting.  We worked it out with our mortgage people, and thanks to some money we had stashed away, we were able to put a down payment on the town home.  Fairly quickly, we found a family happy to rent our previous home.  We thought we had it made.

And, then, pigeon control became a part of our life.  Our rental family was nice enough.  They paid their rent on time, which helped us make our mortgage payment on time.  Our former neighbors never complained to us.  But, they just didn’t take very good care of the house.  Since they didn’t own it outright, they just let minor problems go on until they became big problems.

A couple of shingles blew off our roof during a recent thunderstorm, and instead of replacing them, or even telling us about them, our tenants just ignored it.  Before long, we had a little bit of water damage in the house, and pigeons had moved into the attic.  Not many pigeons, but just enough to cause a ruckus and get the attic filthy.  Of course, that’s when our tenants finally called us for pigeon control.

When I went to inspect the damage and the pigeon problem, it was so gross.  There were pigeon nests up there, a couple of dead pigeons, and pigeon guano everywhere.  The smell was bad, and the damage was worse.   I didn’t even want to think about all the tiny little mites and other bugs that might be infesting our house.

Allstate Animal Control came out and did the pigeon control for me, and they even cleaned up the mess and installed pigeon blockers.  We suffered through the rest of our lease term with the renters, went back in and fixed everything up the way we like, and put the house on the market.  Hopefully, this time, we’ll get buyers and not have to worry about pigeon control ever again.

Get Rid of Pigeons

get rid of pigeons       
     I’m not sure a certain British-singing-and-umbrella-flying nanny would be very happy with me for wanting to get rid of pigeons from the apartment complex I manage.  But, those little suckers make such a huge mess all over the balconies and walkways.  It definitely takes more than a spoonful of sugar to calm me down after spending a day cleaning up after them.  They get under the eaves to roost, hang out on the roof, the branches overhanging the cars in the parking lot.  Some of the tenants actually throw some bird seed out for them, and then complain to me about the mess they’re making! 

            It wouldn’t be so bad, but that stuff is toxic.  If you just let it sit for a while, it changes from a sticky gooey mess to a concentrated salt that can eat through concrete and make steel rust faster.  I would be so much happier if I could just get rid of pigeons instead of cleaning up after them all the time!

            I go down to the park adjacent to our complex and get so irritated at people tossing bread crumbs to the birds.  They’re just bringing more birds to the neighborhood.  The park is right in front of a beautiful church with gorgeous artwork, and the birds sit on the heads of the statues mocking us and pooping.  The beautiful artwork is ruined with streaks of white and black.  Every few years, the city’s parks manager gets people in there to clean it all up, but wouldn’t it be easier to just get rid of the pigeons?  I’m just saying . . .

            I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I have a totally different version of that fictitious nanny’s song, and it doesn’t make pigeons as charming as she thought they should be.  I’m begging my tenants to please, please stop feeding the birds!

Early each day to the apartment complex

The overworked manager comes

In my own special way to the people I call

Don’t buy that bag full of crumbs

Don’t feed the little birds

Shoo them away

And you’ll be glad if you do

Their young ones are hungry

But they won’t stay

If you don’t give them the food

Feed the birds, and you’ll get a mess

A huge mess, a gross mess, a nasty big mess

Feed the birds, that makes me cry

While overhead, the birds fill the sky

All around the apartment the people are parking

While pigeons are perched overhead.

Although you can’t see it,

You know they are smiling

Dropping the poop that they shed

Though my words are simple and few

Listen, listen, I’m calling to you

Feed the birds, and you’ll get a mess

A huge mess, a gross mess, a nasty big mess.

Pigeon Removal

I LOVE pigeons – no need to call for pigeon removal when you can just call me and have me come in and clean up after them.  Big Red’s my name and cleaning pigeon guano’s my game!  Just pay me year after year to clean up the sticky, gooey mess left by those loveable little flyin’ critters. 

            Do you have a great view from your balcony, as long as you don’t look at the floor?  A wrap-around porch that crunches when you walk on it?  Those little varmints can git into a garage or attic and make such a mess as you’ve never seen!  Gimmee a call, and I’ll pressure-wash it for ya.  Course, I’ll be back, thanks to those beautiful flying rats called pigeons. Those birds paid for my RV.  I plan to drive around in that beauty when I retire, and visit all the big cities where the big flocks live.  Sakes alive, I love to bird watch!

            Pigeon guano has ammonia and corrosive acids that eat away at structures.  You don’t call me, it’ll turn into a concentrated salt that, when combined with rainwater, will rust anything.  Some people even think it was responsible for a bridge collapsing – awful, awful.  Imagine what it’s doing to your beautiful balcony with a view.  It’s been said it can dissolve concrete.  But, you don’t want me gettin’ into all the science n’ stuff – just trust me, it’s not just an eyesore, that stuff.  It’s bad for the building and dangerous for you.

            Pigeon removal?  Sure, you could call a professional to get rid of them, but let’s face it.  Why disturb the circle of life?  Pigeons live, pigeons poop, and I need a steady income of cleaning up after ‘em.  See, circle of life!  My life, that is.

            Am I afraid of getting those nasty diseases that pigeon guano can cause?  Eh, not really.  I mean, I wear my face mask, suit up, and put on my heavy gloves before I power wash that stuff away.  It’s nasty, too.  When it’s dried, and parts of it is floatin’ in the air, it can get right into your lungs.  Better hope you’re healthy enough to fight off those fungal infections!   

            Course, as long as you call me in to clean it up, you won’t be too affected by sickness.  I mean, that stuff can cause pneumonia, fever, chills, muscle aches – all kinds of nasty.  I have to make sure I’m real protected when I come in, and hopefully, I’m careful enough that I do it right and keep you safe from disease.   

            I’m a straight-shooter, so I’ll be honest now and tell ya the best thing you can do is get rid of those critters by calling a pigeon removal service.  But, you still gotta deal with the mess left behind.  That’s where I come in!  Plus, I’ve got this real pretty place in Florida I wanna see from my RV, and I could sure use the gas money.  Gimme a call and I’ll get rid of the nasties for ya.