Tag Archives: mice

Mouse Trap

“That looks like a mouse trap to me,” said Marcus, wary.  Since joining up with the mouse nest in this house, he was the new guy, and always picked on.  He had to stay on his toes constantly.

“Whatever, dude, you’re totally paranoid,” said Norman.  He was the worst of the bunch, and was always trying to set Marcus up.  So far, he’d convinced Marcus to dart across the kitchen floor in broad daylight, sun shining and people awake and everything, just to bring back a forgotten piece of toast for Norman to eat.  Norman shared with his buddies, and the only bite Marcus got was the tiny crumb left in his mouse after Norman grabbed the toast from him.

Just yesterday, Norman and his friends had gotten Marcus to run back and forth in front of the tiny mouse hole they’d chewed through the wall.  He’d told Marcus to make as much noise as possible to distract the cat while Norman et al feasted on an unprotected bag of cereal in the pantry.  Again, Marcus got nothing for his trouble except for an extremely near-death experience when the cat’s questing paw had gotten too close for comfort.

So, he was not taking anything Norman said at face value.  They were all facing a huge, delicious gob of peanut butter.  The only problem was, the peanut butter was attached to a flat wooden platform with metal and a spring.  Marcus was pretty sure it was a mouse trap.  He wasn’t a psychic mouse, but he could see into his not-too-distant future if he were to do what Norman wanted him to do.  He’d be dead, head and body sandwiched between the metal and the wooden platform, while Norman and cronies licked peanut butter off his lifeless form.  These guys were brutal.  No mouse mourned another mouse’s death, especially when food was involved.  It was a mouse-eat-mouse world, and peanut butter upped the ante considerably.

Enough was enough.  He’d been the under-mouse for too long and it was beyond time to stand up for himself.  Taunting a cat was one thing, as was darting across a kitchen floor, but a mouse trap meant the end.  No escape.  The grande finale.

“No.”

“What did you say??” Norman demanded.

“No.  If you want it so badly, you taste it.”

“All you’ve been doing is complaining that I never let you eat anything.  You’re upset about the toast and the cereal.  Now, when I let you go first, before any of us get a chance to dig in, you’re saying no?  You’re the most bi-polar mouse I’ve ever heard of!”

Marcus didn’t know what a bi-polar mouse was, but he wasn’t about to let name-calling goad him into a mouse trap.  “You’re right, Norman, you’re always right.  I have been whining, and it’s time to defer to your leadership.  You’re the head of the gang, you’re our leader.  You get to go first.”

Marcus was met by silence.  Until then, he didn’t even know that a mouse could look that surprised.  “Eh, I bet there’s something better in the pantry.  Wanna come?” asked Norman.

“I think I’ll be better off searching for food on my own, thanks,” said Marcus, and walked off, sure that he had just avoided death by mouse trap.

Pest Removal

As a teenage girl, I loved my job at a cute clothing store in the mall, except for inventory and pest removal day.  Sure, most of my paycheck ended up going towards clothes that we sold in the store, but that was completely worth it to me!  I got a great employee discount, and my money would have been spent on clothes, anyway.

The very worst part of the job was inventory.  Every few months, we had to go in extremely early on a Saturday morning so we could check off every item the store owned, clear out shelves to prepare them for the next line of clothes to arrive, and clean out the storage room.  It was a long day, boring, and full of hard work.  And the storage room was awful.

The room was windowless, lit with bluish fluorescent lights, and packed with boxes, unused hangers, clothing racks and dusty shelves.  We called it the dungeon.  Over the previous months, we used it as a dumping ground for whatever we didn’t want to take care of during our normal shifts, and inventory day was payback.  We sorted, we cleaned, and we were always on the lookout for spiders, bugs, or worse, mice or rats.  Pest Removal just wasn’t included on the job description when we’d applied as sales associates.  But, there we were, mouse traps, rat poison, and fly swatters close by as we sorted, folded, and discarded everything that had been tossed into the dungeon.  Once the place was cleaned up, we’d set out the rat poison near suspected rat holes and place a couple of mouse traps in the corners of the room, just to be on the safe side.

Of course, we always had to give the new girls a bad time.  In the days leading up to inventory, we’d tell them horror stories of a mouse that ran over someone’s foot, or the biggest spider we’d ever seen.  Inventory Day, we’d rig it up so plastic rats would be pulled across the floor with a string, or throw a toy spider into someone’s hair.  Didn’t I mention that it was a long and boring day?  We had to break it up somehow!

One Inventory Day, we all arrived, as usual, in our sweats and hair pulled back into ponytails, ready to get dusty, filthy and be bored to tears counting and sorting.  We got our initial assignments from the store manager, and headed off to our respective jobs for the morning.  I was unfortunate enough to get stuck in the storage room right away, bypassing the lesser evil of clearing off shelves in the front.  I got ready to break down the empty boxes so I could stack them up and take them out to the dumpster, and grabbed a box from off the top of the pile.  I pulled it towards me and pulled out the box cutter, just as I became aware of the awful rustling noise coming from inside the box.  Startled, I dropped it on the floor, causing a couple of the flaps to fall up and out, giving me a great view of the box’s interior.  To my disgust, it was filled with wriggling little pink bodies of mouse babies amongst shredded material and cardboard that served as their nest.  My screams brought every girl into the back room, most of whom ran right back out as they realized what they were seeing.  To this day, I can’t open an empty box without shuddering.  Pest removal is something best left to the professionals, not a teenage girl working at a clothing shop.