We gotta get the Box Elder County Exterminator out to our ranch here pronto, because I am sick to death of replacing fence posts.  I got enough to do around here.  Every day I work myself to exhaustion and every night I go to bed thinking of fifty more things I need to do the next day.  It’s fine, it’s the life I chose.  I’m happy that I’m working for myself and not dependant on anyone else for a paycheck.  But, when I find woodpecker holes in fence post after fence post, I have to spend my days chasing down woodpeckers and replacing those posts.  I have better things to do, and I’m no expert on which woodpeckers are protected by federal or state laws and how to get rid of woodpeckers.  The Box Elder County exterminator is, though, and I’ll let him deal with it.

I’ve been dealing with this woodpecker problem for a few years now.  I guess what finally sent me over the edge was this morning.  The ranch hasn’t been doing so well lately.  We’ve been dealing with sick cattle, a fight over mineral rights in one of our pastures, and the price of feed has skyrocketed.  High cost of feed means my prices have to go up.  High price of oil means it costs more to transport the cattle and the feed, which means I have to raise my prices again.  Now, meat prices are so high that consumers aren’t buying as much of my products as they used to, which leaves me up the proverbial creek without the proverbial paddle.  What’m I supposed to do?

So, one night I’m up late worrying over it, as usual, and I fall asleep after a rough day of work and worry.  I’d decided to let myself sleep in a bit the next morning, let myself get a little extra rest so I can tackle the problem fresh.  But, real early next morning, I hear the tap tap tap, peck peck peck of the stupid woodpeckers chipping away at the fence posts again.  I just spent last Thursday replacing some of the older posts that looked like swiss cheese, and here was this bird going at it on one of the newer stretches I finished.

I consider myself a reasonable, fair-minded person.  Live and let live.  Let nature do its thing.  But, I just lost it that day.  Got so mad I grabbed the gun.  My wife caught me before I headed out the door, though, and reasoned that the woodpecker is probably protected, and shooting at the bird on the fence post would probably just do more damage to the fence post I was trying to protect.  So, I gave in, grumbling, and tried to enjoy the huge and delicious breakfast my wife had prepared for us.  Every time that tapping started up again, my knuckles would go white and my shoulders would get all hunched.  Finally, my wife just turned on some music so I couldn’t get annoyed at the birds anymore.

Time to call the Box Elder County exterminator. I figure, even though times are tight, it would save me a lot of time and money, not to mention keeping me from getting too angry to see straight, if I just got a professional out here.