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Swallow Removal

swallow removal
“Hey there, Lila, you call for swallow removal, yet?”  Emily asked her neighbor.

            “What do you mean?  Why would we want those pretty little birds removed?”  Lila was a pretty brunette who loved animals a little too much, in Emily’s opinion.  Emily liked her home pristine and cats, dogs, birds and turtles were just mess-makers in her opinion.  Lila, however, liked the company and noise of her animals, and obviously enjoyed watching wild creatures, too. 

            “What?  You don’t want to get rid of them?” Emily asked, incredulous. 

            “Why on earth would I do that?  I just love to watch little Miss Flighty build her nest.  She’s so pretty.”

            Inside, Emily groaned.  Lila had actually named the little bird, and it wasn’t even a clever name.  She probably had picked out names for all the babies in eggs that hadn’t even been laid yet. 

            “Well, I guess you don’t mind the mess she’s making on your front porch,” Emily said, as nicely as she could.  The little bird was building her mud nest, bit by bit, on the stucco overhang right over the front porch.  The porch itself was slowly accumulating a pile of mud and bird droppings.  Emily knew it was going to stain the concrete, but she also knew Lila probably didn’t care one way or the other about her front porch.

            Lila, however, was enjoying watching the little bird from her window.  She loved noting the daily progress of nest-making.  Swallow removal hadn’t even crossed her mind.  She was an avid bird-watcher, and had put up several bird feeders in her back yard.  This was a real treat for her.

            Emily tried again.  “I sure hope no one slips on the bird droppings and falls.  They could sue.”  Emily wasn’t really known for her tact. 

            That got Lila to thinking.  She’d been cited before by the city for having too many pets than were allowed, and didn’t like to think what would happen if she were sued by someone.  But, still, these were beautiful wild creatures and she loved watching nature take its course.  She said as much to Emily.

            Emily nodded, and said she figured the joy of bird-watching probably outweighed the likelihood of legal action.  But, then, she brought up something that Lila hadn’t known.  Swallow bugs. 

            “Swallow bugs?”  Lila asked.

            “Oh, yes, they’re blood suckers and they live on the birds.  Of course, they sometimes drop off and infest wherever the birds are living.  They’re like fleas and will attack cats or dogs or . . .”

            Lila called for swallow removal the moment Emily left.

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