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Raccoon Control

Mama Raccoon says I don’t know anything about the world, but in my whole life of two weeks, I’ve learned a lot about raccoon control.

Mama loves to tell us the story of how she hunted high and low for the perfect place to have her perfect little babies.  My two sisters and I are, of course, perfect.  Before Mama had us, she walked through the forest.  She found a big log that was hollow and would protect her babies from the rain, and thought that maybe that would be the perfect place.  But, there was already a little family of skunks living in there, and she almost got sprayed by Mama Skunk, so she got out of there.  Then, she found an abandoned car with soft seats filled with wonderful fluffy stuff that she thought would be perfect to keep her little babies warm.  But, there was a nest of rats living in there already, and she didn’t want her babies to get bitten by nasty little rats, so she moved on.  Then, she found a little area under some stairs right next to a big bowl of cat food, and she thought it would be a good place to have her babies, because it would be so close to food.  But, some people tromped up and down those stairs all the time, and she was scared they would get raccoon control out there and take her away.

Finally, she crawled up and up onto a person house, and looked through a little crack in the roof above a porch.  It was indoors, so it would keep her babies safe from the rain.  It was filled with fluffy insulation, so it would keep her babies warm.  It was close to a woodpile just outside, under which lived delicious little mice.  And, no people went up there all the time, so she thought she would be safe from raccoon control.  It was perfect.

So, Mama made that little crack into a big, big hole so she could get up in the roof over the porch.  She is very strong, so she just pulled back the roof and tore into it until she could safely get inside.  Then, we came along, and Mama was very happy.  Sure, we stained the fluffy insulation, and sometimes we were noisier than we should have been, but mostly it was a perfect little life.

Until, one day, a man heard us moving around up in our perfect little home.  We heard some metal scraping on the concrete below, which turned out to be a ladder.  The man poked his hand up inside.  In his hand was a bright, bright light, and I wanted to get closer.  Mama picked me up in her hands and held me close to her, and she pushed my sister and brother back behind her.  Then, she went up to sniff and growl at the light.  It went away really quickly, and we thought we were safe.  But, a few hours later, raccoon control showed up and we were taken out of our perfect place one by one.  Mama says she’ll find us another perfect place for us where we won’t bother people anymore.

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