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How To Get Rid Of Opossums

“Honey, I’ve got to go.  Cameron’s teacher’s ready for me . . . yes, yes, I called this afternoon to find out how to get rid of opossums and they’re sending someone out first thing in the morning. . .  I honestly don’t know, hon, I haven’t heard any more banging around in the attic, but opossum are usually active only at night, so we won’t know for sure until tonight . . . I hope so, too, because I can’t stand the mess, I can’t stand waking up all night listening to something scrabbling around above our heads , I just can’t! . . . You’re right, I’m calm.  I’ll let you know how the parent/teacher conference goes.  Love you . . .”

“Come on in, Mrs. Seely, thank you for coming to meet with me tonight.”

“Thanks, Miss Jackson.  Cameron talks about you all the time.  He just loves having you as his kindergarten teacher.”

“Oh, I’m happy to hear it!  He’s a really good kid to have in my class.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Cameron is doing very well in the class.  His word recognition skills have really improved.  I think his favorite subject is art.  In fact, this is something he painted today.  I’d like to ask you about it with you, though.  I can’t seem to understand what he painted.”

“Oh?  May I see?  Oh, yes.  Um, well, what did he say it is?”

“Well, he said it was raining in his bathroom.”

“Rain?”

“Uh huh.  But then he said it was raining bugs.”

“Oh crap.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry.  It’s just . . . we think we have an opossum, maybe more, that got into our attic.  Maybe they’re dead, I don’t know.  I called a wildlife removal company this afternoon and they’re sending someone out in the morning.”

“Oh, I see.  I’m so sorry to hear that.  And the fleas?”

“I don’t know for sure, because I just can’t seem to get up the courage to get into the attic to see for myself, but, oh, it’s just awful.  Fleas, fleas are raining down in our bathroom through the recessed light.  It’s the grossest thing I’ve ever had to deal with!”

“Oh, ew!  That’s just awful!  I’m glad you’re getting someone out to take care of it, for your sake.  I have to say I am happy to know that Cameron’s creativity doesn’t extend to horror.”

“Yes, it is like something out of a horror film.  Poor kid, I hate that it’s worried him so much that it’s coming out in his art, though.  Hopefully we’ll get it all squared away and cleaned up tomorrow morning so he can go back to being the happy budding artist he normally is.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll be just fine.  He loved telling the other boys about it.”

“I don’t doubt it!  I’m sure he’ll love telling them all about how we got rid of the opossums in the next couple of days.  So, how are his math skills?”

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