I have to wonder what bats must think, when we try to get rid of bats with tools that were meant for playing sports or cleaning the house.

Look, I know that sometimes entire bat colonies get in an attic, or bats roost in a chimney or people have bat colonies around their house.  But, a lot of times, it’s just one single bat that got curious or accidentally flew in a house.  Once inside, it finds a nice place to hang out, like high up on a wall, or in a fireplace, behind a curtain or on the back of a chair.  It might be a little bit worried about finding its way back outside again, but it’s pretty confident that it’ll be able to find its way back out, once it’s had a nap or pulled its wits together.

And, then, some human innocently walks into the darkened room and flips on a light switch.  Still, the bat might not move from its spot.  It’s comfortable, it’s safe, and it sees no reason why it should have to move.  So, it hangs out there for a while.  The person wanders around, doing whatever people do in that particular room.  But, suddenly, the person glances at a random spot on the wall, and sees a dark smudge just hanging there.  Somewhere, deep in that person’s brain, a fearful voice whispers, “It’s a bat,” and then there’s screaming, and running, and door slamming, and all of a sudden there’s several people all trying to get rid of the bat.

The things people use to get rid of bats, though!  It’s like, they grab whatever is at hand, whether it’s an empty box, a blanket, a tennis racket or the long, dusty, fluffy thing at the end of a pole that they use to clean off ceiling fans.

A whole chase ensues.  The bat flies frantically around the room, barely avoiding faces, heads and windows as it desperately looks for an escape route.  Objects are smashed or simply knocked over as the people alternate between trying to get rid of the bat to running away screaming to ducking and cursing.

And, what must the bat think?  It was happily minding its own business when it’s awoken and chased.  It is not a greased pig at a fair, it is not an escaped bull in a china shop.  It is simply a small bat taking a rest from looking for dinner.  Now, it’s trying to avoid getting its wings smashed in a butterfly net or by a cardboard box while flying around looking for a way out of this mess.

Let cooler heads prevail.  Call a professional to get rid of bats for you.  Tennis rackets are for playing tennis, blankets are to keep you warm, and ceiling fan dusters are for . . . well, you know.