We have two birds in our attic, I’m not exactly sure how they got in there or what kind of birds they are but they’ve been there for about 5 days.  My husband was hanging up new Christmas lights when he found a large hole left by a woodpecker in the siding of our house.  When he went into the attic to patch it, he was met by a lot of flapping wings and screeching from the birds he startled (and that startled him).  Since then we have only been opening the door and not going inside, we don’t want the birds to hurt themselves from flying erratically and we also don’t want them to attack us.

We went to Amazon and ordered a bird cage to try and trap them, thanks to Prime we were able to get it in just a couple of days and set it up right inside of the doorway baited with some bird seed. The only problem is that it’s been a few days since then and we haven’t had any luck? As far as I can tell they don’t have any access to food or water inside of the attic and we haven’t seen them coming in and out of the woodpecker hole? Either they have a different entrance than the hole that we found or they’re starving up there.

I am really worried about the situation; I don’t want the birds to die up there but I also don’t want them living there!  I’ve read a lot online about bird mites and different contaminants in their poop (depending on the species – which I still don’t know!) and it’s really starting to freak me out.  I’m not sure how long we should keep trying to catch them ourselves before we need to bring in a professional. We already tried calling the local animal control and they told us this wasn’t there kind of job, what does that even mean!  I guess until we figure it out, we’re just stuck with two birds in our attic. Yippee!

I can’t take much more of this.  For two months I’ve shared my home with the woodpeckers in the attic and I’ve just about had my fill.  The only reason they’ve been there this long is that my daughter loves Looney Toons and has become quite fond of the Tweety Bird, and when she overheard her dad and I talking about ‘getting rid’ of them, she had a tantrum.  Now she sits up and listens for them to  peck in the morning, and it’s driving me Looney!  I’m a nurse and since I only recently got out of school, I work from about 4 pm to 4 am (and various times around that), and when I get home and try to get a quick nap in BEFORE Anna wakes up, those birds don’t do me much good.

Not only do they start their morning routine around 5 o’clock, they also like to rustle around and make additions to their nest during the day, the only time I can get any sleep.  Oh, did I mention that the attic is conveniently located right above MY bedroom?  Because it is!  Now for a couple of days I didn’t mind the birds in the attic, then they started to get annoying as they started to peck on various things, and now, I CAN’T STAND THEM.  I love my daughter with all of my heart, but I will die from exhaustion if I don’t get them out of here, and quick.

Truthfully, I don’t know how to get rid of them.  I’d be more likely to perform a successful appendectomy than to remove these woodpeckers on my own, and as wonderful and handy as my husband is, he will only do more harm than good trying to do it.  A few years ago my neighbor had troubles with gophers and called a wonderful trapper, I’m just praying that she still has his card because I’m really losing my mind right now.  It’s not only affecting my sleep and mood, but my job too; it’s not exactly ethical to fall asleep while checking a patient’s temperature now is it?  I’m down to my last straw, and its Wildlife Removal.  If they know what’s good for them they’ll get rid of the woodpeckers in my attic.

Two weeks ago, World War III began; the battles have been raging for years, but now its war. Living in what most people would call a cabin, I have to deal with many things: the cold, the occasional splinter, and woodpeckers. There are plenty of animals where I live, but none as annoying as the infamous flying checkerboard. Owning a house made almost entirely from wood, you might be able to understand why this particular bird is such a nuisance, but if not I’ll clear it up. Woodpeckers peck holes into wood, my house is wood, and this bird only seems to work in the evening and early morning, when I’m trying to get rest. Can you imagine listening to the sound of a tiny jack hammer on your bedroom wall, all the time?
Now my specific woodpecker, didn’t start off by waking me up almost every day, but instead simply living in a tree in my backyard. I had no problem with that, I love animals! For ten years we’ve lived comfortably as neighbors, but for some reason that all changed this year. About a month or so ago I discovered the first hole drilled right above my patio doors, the next above my wife’s flower boxes, and since then they’ve doubled, maybe even tripled, and everywhere I look I see holes. Soon enough I started hearing him at 5 o’clock in the morning, the TATATATATAT was unmistakable. The rapid fire of beak on wood seemed never ending, so I declared it; World War III.
First things first, I had to build up my stockpile of defense weapons (there weren’t any actual weapons, I didn’t want to kill him); I bought myself a large, fake owl, a new stereo, some tin plates, and set to work. I posted the owl on my roof, its job: scare away all other birds, my plan is to move him every week or so to a different spot on the house. Then I connected my phone to the Bluetooth on the stereo, two can play the loud noise game. Lastly, I placed a tin plate outside my bedroom wall, above the patio, and over the front door just in case. I heard about a guy that put a picture of Obama on one side, and Hilary Clinton on the other; he said it worked great but I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone but this woodpecker so I left it as it was. When he comes back, I’ll be ready. I will win World War III.

My neighbor has a woodpecker problem, and I’m sorry but I think it’s so funny.  Not the problem itself, but the way he deals with it.  If my memory serves me correct, it’s been going back and forth for about two years now, but it might not have been quite that long. I know we’ve had a woodpecker in the neighborhood for much longer than that, you can almost always hear it drilling away at neighboring trees, he drilled a hole in my siding once but that was the only issue I’ve ever had with him.  But Tom (my neighbor) definitely has a serious problem.

For a little background, Tom is a single dad which in of itself isn’t something that you see every day; but his access to toys and his lack of sleep make him a force to be reckoned with.  His woodpecker problem started, like I said, about two years ago; and at first Tom tried all of the usual steps.  I saw him hang up reflectors, he bought some weird repellant to spray where the woodpecker was drilling, and when he could he patched up the holes.  You could clearly see that he was trying to reasonably get rid of the woodpecker, but after a year he had to install a metal repair trim because there was so much damage, and even after that the woodpecker came back!  I guess after that it was game on.

The yelling was the first thing, the woodpecker will drill at this little tinted window in Tom’s bedroom but when he opens it, it flies away.  So now when he opens it, he’ll yell little obscenities out at the bird.  Another thing (my personal favorite) that I’ve seen him do is shoot at the bird with his son’s Nerf gun; I’ve never seen him hit closer than 6 inches to the woodpecker but you have to appreciate the effort.  Recently I’ve watched him put out some of his kids’ little green army men up in the window seals and set up his daughter’s sound activated Robo-dog on the deck, along with a few other childish ploys.  It is the craziest thing to watch and I’m excited to see what he comes up with next!