You know those terrible things that happen and your friends tell you, “you’ll laugh about this someday”; and you’re always so mad that you don’t believe them but a couple years down the road you find yourself retelling the story and in fact, laughing. Well here I am, four years after my raccoon problem and I’m finally laughing. At the time, I was living my worst nightmare. At parties when people brought it up, I’d go red in the face and freak out; but now, I’m the one telling the story, and since everyone else has gotten to hear it, I thought I’d share it with you today.
It was my junior year in college and some girlfriends and I were renting a house near campus. To us, it was a much better living situation than a dorm or an apartment, especially because the house backed up to the woods which meant lots of parties and night games that we could host. What we didn’t count on was the wildlife, it was everywhere! Eventually, we deemed it the Snow White house because there was always some kind of critter in the backyard. We also didn’t count on the raccoon problem that we would encounter that spring.
It all started with the New Year’s party we threw; it was off the hook! Honestly, I look back and I’m surprised none of the neighbors called the cops – but then again it was New Years. We had the hot tub open, bottles of apple cider and champagne, people were having snowball fights and playing capture the flag, my friend’s brother was playing music, everything was great. Until someone broke out the ski’s, that’s when I should have realized we were in trouble. He took to the roof with the ole’ red white and blue flying behind them, he flew into the crowd and took out maybe five people with his skis. Of course it would have been all good fun, except then several other people climbed to the roof to jump into the snow banks. Unbeknownst to me, someone’s foot went through the roof, and that was the start of the raccoon problem.
A few months later, its spring break and of course my roomies and I head to Mexico for the week. What we didn’t know, was that a raccoon had used the hole in the roof to move into the attic and when Emma left the attic hatch open after grabbing her suitcase, that the raccoon would come down to explore. The good thing was that everyone closed their bedroom doors before they left, that is everyone except me. For seven days, this raccoon ravaged and searched and tore through anything it could find, including my room. When we got home, I walked upstairs to find everything ripped apart. Whatever was in my mini fridge was strewn around the room, my sheets were shredded and covered in raccoon poop, even my backpack was torn and its contents were littered around the house. I was heartbroken and very, very angry, which is why it has taken me four years (and moving into a new house), to be able to laugh about it.