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Get Rid of Bats

I have to wonder what bats must think, when we try to get rid of bats with tools that were meant for playing sports or cleaning the house.

Look, I know that sometimes entire bat colonies get in an attic, or bats roost in a chimney or people have bat colonies around their house.  […]

Get Rid of Beavers

Get Rid of Moles

People of the world, we earthworms implore you to get rid of moles.  It’s well documented that we earthworms are your friends.  We do not carry diseases or parasites, as other creatures who roam your backyard do.  We do not bite.  We do not scratch.  We don’t even bother your precious pets.  We don’t […]

Get Rid of Raccoons

Tears drip from my eyes, and I can not stop laughing as my roommate, Joe, stammers on about getting rid of raccoons.  The memory of his little-girl scream, the shocked look on his face, and the way he wind-milled back out of our fireplace makes me laugh harder every time I think about it.

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Porcupine Control

I think the porcupine believes that if we can’t see it, we won’t suspect we need porcupine control.  We have a porcupine that loves our yard, our trees, our shed, even our car.  And, for some reason, it believes it has a better chance of getting to stay on our property if it plays […]

Feral Cat Control

There’s a reason I wear thick jeans when I go to work as a feral cat control officer.  Some people prefer loose-fitting khakis with lots of pockets, or shorts when the weather gets really hot.  I didn’t normally discuss the fashion choices available to feral cat control officers, until the incident.  Now, I bring […]

Rabbit Control

We are in desperate need of rabbit control on our backwoods property, but it’s going to be a huge job.  We have a small cabin in the middle of the woods about a three-hour drive from our home.  It’s been our haven, our little getaway, to take us out of the hustle and bustle […]

Honeybee Control

“You will absolutely have to have honeybee control come in and remove the honeybees before the big day.”  The wedding planner was overseeing all the final plans for her client’s wedding day, and had run into a snag.  Dressed in a tight white skirt and breezy blue blouse, she didn’t seem to mind walking […]

Opossum Control

As the supervisor of a large apartment complex, I take care of a lot of things, from leaky toilets to cleaning the streets to fixing air conditioners, but opossum control is a new one on me.

I got a call from one of my favorite tenants.  Mrs. Hernandez is a sweet older widow who […]

Squirrel Control

I watched, horrified, as the guy who was the squirrel control expert, pulled the cover off of our ceiling fan.

Over the last few weeks, I’d noticed an odd smell in the house, and I just couldn’t locate the source no matter how often I went through the house sniffing and seeking.  The fan […]